Blue Jay bird...

And so I spend another sick day home...looking at pictures...listening to talk of those families that have suffered such loss.   I think of those that have passed on...and so I reflect on pictures and know that some think that I perhaps think on this too much...what is the "appropriate" way in which one should grieve...in which one should honor those that are no longer here day to day...

I think of last Friday as we were heading to Windsor to my son Lance's to attend one of my other "kids", Tyler, who was graduating from college...to which we are so proud of him.   Tyler was a friend of Jay and Heather's...and just became one of our family.   But my mission was to take a Christmas tree to the cemetery on Friday morning.   I had first found a little Charlie Brown tree and then there it was later...a little live tree...about Izzy's height...beautiful.   I remember when the guy tried to give me the one next to it.   Was it that different?   To me...this was the one that I wanted to take and place on my "favorite son-in-law's" grave...this one picked me!

We loaded up in our different vehicles and one little Isabel was not sure about going to "simmitary" as she needed her some "Donald's".  But as in the way one little Izzy usually does...she soon gets involved and moves on.   At first she looked the tree over and there was one little Frosty snowman...one that I was not sure if it really went to the tree but it had also "picked me"...so maybe it was for one little IzzyBell.   So I had placed it on the tree and she began pressing his hand.   A soft little white furry snowman trimmed in blue that played "Let it snow".   I asked her if she would like it...as anyone knows her daddy would for sure think it needed more with her than sitting on a tree.   That snowman had seemed to pick me though I wasn't certain the purpose until it brought smiles seeing one little girl loving it...as though a gift from her daddy.

I put in some pictures captured and later wonder WHY do I feel this need to capture these moments?   But it seems something that I want to share with Izzy one day...maybe to share with those that watch from afar and send up prayers...and maybe it is somehow I think a way in which I can honor her daddy and his memory.   To let her know that her daddy's life was important...he was someone special.   That we are thankful that we had him in our lives!  And maybe in some way feel his love...



 

These pictures show Izzy and her snowman...Izzy checking out the birds...holding two of the "red and blue" suckers that also seemed to be hers.  As we looked at the different decorations...I don't know if you can see that there is a little red, white and blue squeaker toy for Otis.   Izzy and I had already got Otis some toys but our conversation of this particular toy made us all bust out laughing...yes definitely a part of her daddy!  I had told her that after Christmas she could give the toy to Otis.  To which she tells us that we will probably miss Santa because we will have to come and get Otis his toy!    But I love that she was willing to give up for herself to give to her dog...

She then went to asking what each things was.   I told her that there was a blue Jay bird on there.  To which in her onery way begins asking if each thing on there is a blue Jay bird.   Just like her Daddy she can bring a smile or outright laugh to those around her...especially to her mama!  Often through her love of teasing.

Different ornaments that try to represent just some of the things that make me think of Jay..."World's Greatest DAD" (family)...Police ornaments (his job)...God's Greatest Gift...(his faith).  And as we get ready to leave and as I get ready to close...I do a closeup of an ornament near the Blue Jay Bird...When I miss you the most...I look deep in my heart and find you there...

And as I watch one little "Peanut" dance up the hill...I think that just might be true...she really didn't need to look for the Blue Jay Bird...he was right there in her heart.   (Now if we can convince her to wait on Santa before she goes and gets Otis' squeak toy...)

lyp