Wednesday, October 17, 2012


I have a friend Katie who talks of sometimes when those certain words or thoughts are brought to your attention as God talking "right out loud".   But this morning seemed to be over and over..and then again up side the just kidding but so amazing how such a theme just keeps continuing.  

When I first got there and started journaling...I had thought about how I sort of had a fear I guess and I write..."take away this anxiousness that comes upon me" regarding having to go to our final day of court for sentencing for the woman who did not tell the police officers that the man who killed Jay had a gun...     ANXIOUSNESS...not really a word I use that often...but that is what I put.

I look at my Kasey Jo calendar on my table...and it has Psalm 139:7 I think it was listed...but such a beautiful Psalm I read it all...and so there at the end is Psalm 139:23-24.   I put together another scripicture...

I look back at what I wrote on this scripture this morning at my kitchen table...

That one I say is my prayer but let me want to pray that…that I am not trying to hide from Your Presence Lord…It surrounds is a part of me…you see me more clearly than I see myself…not only do I try and hide from You…I tried to hide from me as well.   SEARCH ME, O GOD, AND KNOW MY HEART; You know my heart…do I?    TRY ME AND KNOW MY ANXIETIES; You know these that pull at me inside…let me give them to You as I cannot seem to handle them.   Release this anxiety from me… AND SEE IF THERE IS ANY WICKED WAY IN ME, and this I know that I hold wickedness…let me remember that Jesus died for my wickedness…am I willing to have You search my heart…AND LEAD ME IN THE WAY EVERLASTING…that is what I ultimately hope for…yet at times I do not always act as though that is it…I become consumed with the world around me…let me be consumed with You Lord…This world is not my home.  
This seems to be something I should include...but I go on to read my Jesus Calling devotional by Sarah Young for today...under today's date it reads...

ANXIETY IS A RESULT OF envisioning the future without Me.  So the best defense against worry is staying in communication with Me.  When you turn your thoughts toward Me, you can think much more positively.  Remember to listen, as well as to speak, making your thoughts a dialogue with Me.
If you must consider upcoming events, follow these rules: 1) Do not linger in the future, because anxieties sprout up like mushrooms when you wander there.  2) Remember the promise of My continual Presence; include Me in any imagery that comes to mind.  This mental discipline does not come easily, because you are accustomed to being god of your fantasies.  However, the reality of My Presence with you, now and forevermore, outshines any fantasy you could ever imagine.” 

Luke 12:22-26; Ephesians 3:20-21
And there it is again as though that is the word for the if it is surely something I should take note of...So I look up the scriptures that go with the reading and a favorite...or one that I seemed to seek out...

LUKE 12:22-26
“Then He said to His disciples, “Therefore I say to you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat; nor about the body, what you will put on.  Life is more than food, and the body is more than clothing.  Consider the ravens, for they neither sow nor reap, which have neither storehouse nor barn; and God feeds them.  Of how much more value are you than the birds?  And which of you by worrying can add one cubit to his stature?  If you then are not able to do the least, why are you ANXIOUS for the rest?”
Okay Okay I think!!!   I then read on ...and there is a scripture from 12:29: 

“And do not seek what you should eat or what you should drink, nor have an anxious mind.”

Nor have an anxious mind...I'm getting it...I'm getting it!  I did take note of the whole remember to listen line.  But the whole line of anxieties sprouting up like mushrooms.  That's a visual!  So I think on the whole visual thing.  Have I mentioned the Power Thoughts I have been reading and trying to implement...thus if you are having Power Thoughts...I am assuming there would not be room for an ANXIOUS MIND especially fungus anxieties!  

My anxiousness really seemed to subside...Although, I would ask for prayers from those around...prayers for strength and prayers for peace for one more day...of being with all that will be  to going through the emotion in talking about losing a special person to us--our Jay Bird.

And I add a song that just seems to be one to add...I love Alison Krauss...

BUT I have changed my anxiety to something else...I am anxious for sure...yes I get to have one little Firecracker for the weekend!!   Now I am anxious for that and it is one that I am happy to keep with me!!!  

So the clock strikes I should be anxious to get to bed...sweet dreams...


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