February 7, 2021
Yesterday…and just the word…can mean the day before today…or many days before today…a special friend from several yesterday’s ago…so long ago I still call her Janie…though many refer to her as Laura…or Laura Jane…she the youngest of six daughters to Tom and Mary…Her next sister in line…Nancy…my best friend in first grade was the one who gave me the news that Janie went to be with God…but here on your birthday I write today which is now tomorrow…That you would leave this earth the day before you came...I think of your dash...that line in between your dates...and a picture and verse had popped up and I had thought of your journey Janie…of your sisters…this one from my kitchen table from a few years back…but funny it should pop up…
And from my kitchen table The moon and a bright shining star...if you look close you see...And an angel on my table holds the peace stone. I read one of my life verses..."To give light to those who sit in darkness and the shadow of death. To guide our feet into the way of peace. Luke 1:79 TODAY'S FORECAST: When seeking....may you seek Peace...
Janie that little sister that did much with us. I have a picture of her from Hanover grade school at the old country schoolhouse we all attended. She adorable I am sure since birth!!! I remember finding this picture and us laughing of the culotte days and that beautiful long hair…
And then the yesterday’s turn to today’s and tomorrow’s…and
time and life passes so quickly and we lose touch with those that have been
such a large part of our lives and often we freeze them at some point in time…with
the Spencer girls…all 6 of them…each went off to Canon City to a different
school when they went to high school...but then somewhere along the way we
reconnected…and Janie and I talked about that time in between in a conversation
she told me, “I know so many adult years missed but when I think of you it's
your blonde blonde hair and piercing blue eyes and so much fun to hang out
with. Well when Nancy would let me.
She'd always say after you'd leave...she's MY FRIEND not yours...Rude but
always let me buddy in too.” But those friends who knew you when...even when they knew you when you and her sister would laugh so hard we would not always make it to the bathroom...yet the point...we laughed...those friends who have memories of your mom holding them and singing to them when they were afraid...childhood friends...friendships that you keep in your heart...even if you do not get to know them in later years...
I learned of the "grown up" Janie…she had reached out I think
on Facebook…(Facebook not always the greatest place...but I do appreciate connecting with "old" friends) but anyway we just kept writing…we shared “Girlfriends in God” and as
I went back and read on her birthday...different writings back and forth…just the day after she had passed on…surrounded
by her sisters…and I found something she had told me a few years ago in September
of 2018…she had written,
“I remember that a friend going
thru chemo...I'll be ok with either way it turns out. If I don't make it look
what God has in store for us all if we believe. Happy Sunday muah!” ljs
And it was as if she was writing it this very Sunday…a
message to many of us who grieve her leaving…and I came upon more of her
writings that Janie and I had shared a few years ago, “Yes, I often go down the
dark tunnel and then I pray that whatever lesson not learned to help me get
through and gradually see the light and He is in control. I've been thinking
a lot about death...I used to be really scared... now not so much. I know more
than I used to and cherish every day.”
Cherish
every day…that’s one to keep with us…and I think how Janie and I had started
writing back and forth…before…before cancer…before Jay killed…and I laugh as we
had an ongoing of the weeds getting in our gardens…but as I read through I
laughed as one of her words of wisdom to me after sharing some story and she
says, “What a story.. it is how you handle your fear, struggle whatever the
case may be. Chin up and I love this saying move on like a dog cover that shit
and carry on.” Oh Laura Jane…I
loved I got to know your fun side and include a favorite pic…just because you
adorable even making faces at me…
And I think how our lives were intertwined…and I had written, “So this morning I was thinking of you and another friend and had said
my friends with cancer in my writing. It was as though God slapped my hand and
said WHAT!!! This is not how to describe My child...and so it made me think how
we let cancer or many other things define us...so today I ask...how do you want
to be defined!!! Lyp
Janie replied back to me…”Pretty! Beautiful Smart, gorgeous lol I'm kidding. Tougher than nails. Thank you for always thinking of me. Too many of us have cancer. wth? We push thru it all but I do hate that saying fight. ..so the ones that die weren't fighting...ugh don't get me started…”
I think of her reply…and she all the things…but yes tougher
than nails…to endure the time she went through what she went through…and I
think of her sisters and mom…each being there in their own ways…I continue with
some of her own words…because they touched me…and so I "borrow" a picture of
her that a friend had captured and I told her made me just say Janie…her words…”We all have a hill,
mountain or bump in the road. What I know
for sure is you pick yourself up and dust yourself off and try again. It’s life.”
ljs
I am sure others know of her encouragement…She sent me different things and I came across this verse… “Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need.” (Hebrews 4:16) Eagerly approach his throne and find help. He cares for you.” During times when she going through a lot…she encouraged…even one of the last things written to me...a Love you Pen Pen and then I am fine...after she had met with the hospice...but then sometimes her words were a sort of kick in the butt…that even though we didn’t have many in person talks…and sometimes I think we would have never conversed of such things…me one to hold back and she says,
“Peace and joy. I think of an arrow...pulling it back you have to just let it go. Take the leap. God's with you for sure. Quit putting on the skids lol”
Usually ending with laughter out loud…Janie
encouraged me to write…and so...that is what I do as I think of you...
My heart is with her and her friends…I think of her “ya ya’s… and especially her family...her mama who she loved dearly...her sisters... and especially my life-long friend Nancy…I know each of your hearts aching…yet knowing how blessed we all are…another couple pictures I steal…might be a little blurry because of copy and paste...but I love them all the same...
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