Today...Ash Wednesday...first day of Lent...and I not one who really knew much of Lent other than my friends I remember would "give up something"...and 10 years ago I did not know anything of Ash Wednesday...10 years ago...Ash Wednesday...and though it is not March 9, 2011...it does bring back memories...
On the morn of Ash Wednesday...10 years ago...just another day of going to work. Yet it was different in the fact that I had an experience that I may have not shared with many...though now the words seem to come out on my paper. I had a picture come to my mind...a dream if you will...though I wide awake. I don't know what it was...but I felt it to my core. In this vision of sorts...I seen people reaching out from the ground...reaching towards me saying, "Why didn't you tell me!" And as they reached...they cried out...as though reaching from their graves...
And then...that evening...the call came...the call that was as none I had ever received and pray never to receive again...the news that my son-in-law...Jay Sheridan...had been killed!!! My daughter's husband...my granddaughter's Daddy...and that night...I remember those that sat with ashes on their foreheads...a part of their faith...a Faith that Jesus died for our sins...even though we did not deserve...and I had faith that Jay a believer...not because he deserved...but because he believed.
I have a picture I took of fire...an intense fire that just seemed to capture me...and with my ashes theme decide to put verses on it...
The first verse I find is in Genesis...of Abraham talking to the LORD saying, "I who am nothing but dust and ashes have taken it upon myself to speak to the LORD." Just little ole me...and I thought sometimes how though not Abraham...have thought how I am not anything but here I am talking to the LORD...
...and then the other in Daniel...Daniel...one who could tell what a dream meant...one who was fed to the lions and came out to tell of it...of one who put on his sackcloth...sat in his ashes and prayed...prayed for those around him...in his sadness...and today I have been reminded from past and present...how precious life is...how we don't know...and I look around us...and I read further in Daniel's Prayer it was referred to and think of the word I have been given lately..."Mercy"...and I think of our nation...our world...both big and small...and these words stick out of how we all ignore many commandments...but the biggest...to LOVE...but the words I read a prayer indeed...speaking from our ashes...not because we deserve...but because we ask for Mercy...
“Now, our God, hear the prayers of your servant. Listen to my prayer for help, and for your sake do good things for your holy place that is in ruins. My God, pay attention and hear me. Open your eyes and see all the terrible things that have happened to us. See how our lives have been ruined and what has happened to the city that is called by your name. We do not ask these things because we are good; instead, we ask because of Your mercy. Lord, listen! Lord, forgive! Lord, hear us and do something! Daniel 9:17-19
I read something when looking on Ash Wednesday...something that sort of resonates with me...and there is an article with the date March 9...only 2014...as I search for ashes and sackcloth...because what exactly is sackcloth? Or as the New Century Version translation calls it "rough cloth". But I find an article from erortega.com...one not familiar with...but the words are just from the initial search where I read..."In the Bible, sackcloth, and ashes was worn as a sign of repentance for sin. Simply put, sackcloth and ashes was an external demonstration for an internal condition.". INTERNAL CONDITION...
Whoa and part of this faith that I cling to...is of repentance...of forgive us our trespasses...and forgiving others...of believing in Jesus...in His Love...in His Life...and there plays a song that does not add to the sadness and loss I have been reminded of from past and present...but that which makes this Faith I cling to...that those who believe will RISE!!! And so I leave with a song that picks me up...
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