Oh Marilyn

My Grandma Bessie's sister Opal's oldest daughter...Marilyn...I don't remember her as a Roth...Always a Davis...married to that guy Larry who all tough on the outside...but a big heart on the inside...maybe don't tell him we know!    He spent time caring for Marilyn in her last days on this earth...to which I start writing to say goodbye.

Marilyn had three sons...Ron, Tom, and Hank...and though I haven't been around them in later years...I knew them better in earlier days...good times with Ron and Kathy...Marilyn's baby sister who left us way too soon.    Tom coming to spend some time with us in Colorado and then Hank came and visited as well...but Ron's wife Anita shared the updates (thank you Anita)...of what going on in their life...and I think Oh Marilyn...and I think of laughter...

I think of the last time I seen her I think, and I did have some pictures of her and her sister's...One I loved was her and Nyla (always the cool one)...during another celebration of life of her sister Rhonda's husband...Jack...so many goodbye's...

I ramble on here...and think how these blogs have been more thinking of those who I seem to be reflecting on their life than anything else...but maybe that is okay...a place to give a moment of love for one that has lived and been a part of our life...a part of who we are...a reminder of how this time on this earth is fleeting...unknown...

Marilyn was one of the "elder's"...a keeper of the family tree.   One who would make others do skits and such that they didn't always want to but somehow...she convinced them that it would be fun...or at least something they needed to do... Her smile and laughter are part of what I remember most of her...I did a search for her pics and they pulled up one's of her baby sister Kathy too...and I think all had a beautiful smile...a gift from their mama!

When I searched pics there was one that wasn't from this time maybe a reunion...but it makes me think of the past...the future...how you loved history...

You with a chocolate covered strawberry that you were excited to enjoy...laughing at me taking your picture with your napkin on your chest...just keeping it clean...with Kathy's daughter talking to you...

and I thought how you loved to laugh and play...I know I only seen glimpses...but this last time I seen  you...these snapshots...maybe not the greatest capture...but I keep in my memories...you playing cards...you taking time to appreciate the flowers...the food...and the family...a reminder to us all...

Marilyn...you will be missed...though none of us would wish suffering on you...I think of you raising those four boys (haha sorry Larry I include you)...those younger siblings...and how sometimes your "innocence" I'm sure a protector from some of the things you lived...I missed your farewell but thought of all that were there...and those who loved you and said goodbye from afar...and so I send love and prayers to all...and maybe today stop and play a game and just laugh the whole time!   lyp

Randal Scott...

 Today your birthday...you my cousin...my friend...many times like a brother.    Today I think of you on your birthday and how I have not written about you since I got the news you have left this life...

I think of a favorite picture of you with my Dad.     How he loved you and I wonder about Heaven and what it is like and if you two are reunited...

This morning as I thought of you...the sun was working at coming up and I thought there it is...Randy's sunrise...and I turned my camera and there was a bird in the tree...a sparrow joining me in watching the sun come up over the hill.  

I think of days gone by...Growing up with you down the road...times when I wasn't sure I had another friend...there you were playing basketball with me at recess.    You doing a Cheech and Chong routine while milking the cow and I remember sitting and laughing so hard.   You putting on heavy boots to run in so you could jump higher playing basketball.    I think about how strong you were.  How funny you were...There a picture that I came across...of days gone by...you messing around but still taking care of others...

I remember then how your life forever changed...that truck that you had worked on and made so sweet...and then there you were in a wheelchair.    I remember weekends driving to Denver as you went through rehab and then you came home and fun times still...I still remember one night in Fargo's parking lot and again laughing so hard at you...of you coming and spending time with me and my family...helping do what you had such a gift for...fixing those motors...and such special times we had...

And this morning I asked why do we disconnect...lose touch from those that are so special to us...so many years pass by so quickly and before you know it...here we are...and though we spent some time texting and a call here and there...still I didn't make the trip to see you...and I think of if I had...what would we have talked of?    I think of how God sent a couple angels in those last days...strong women who were such a blessing to be there with you!   I think of you now free from the confines of a chair that held you for so many years.    A bittersweet...but I feel you a Believer in Jesus...and you went on running and jumping to Heaven!   

So I think of you not just today the day you were born...but I think of your life and how thankful that I am for you my cousin...my friend...at times my big brother!   Thank you!  Love you Randy!!!  

Eleven years...

 

March 9, 2022

Wednesday…a snowy Wednesday…and I think of you...Jay…of writing a letter to you…you where there is no sadness nor pain…I read and sing, “How Great Thou Art”…taken from my thoughts…playing over and over in my head…and I read in the book given to me…”Then Sings My Soul”…and there the very words I had sang…oh when your soul sings…it seems to carry the tune much better!

I read a writing of the song’s history and it talks of a poem written by a 26-year-old man…26 catches me…Jay 26 years old…a young man by any means…Eleven years since that fatal day…fatal…I look up the definition…causing death…death in the eyes of those remaining…but not in the hearts of those believing!!!

I go back to thinking of how this poem written by this young man…ended up touching one life and then another and then another…I think of you today Jaybird…wondering why I refer to you now as Jaybird…perhaps since you flew away…I came across a picture yesterday…titled “Snowy Days and Steller’s Jays” photo taken by I believe Lori Fredrickson from Wyoming...but this photo captured me as I had never seen one before...And I laugh as I research more on this bird as it says, “Steller’s Jays are large songbirds with large heads, chunky bodies, rounded wings, and a long, full tail.”   Yes, I hear you giggle…

Yesterday I spent time with your daughter…she has pieces of you scattered in her personality…pieces of her Mom…of others…yet her own unique person.   And I think of how like a poem written a long time ago…continues to touch lives today…and I think of how you touch the lives of those that remain…and that for many is your laughter...your heart...your words...and yet your story remains…and perhaps that is one of the reasons why I continue to talk of you…to think of you…to remember you…

I don’t understand still…and maybe it is for me not to ever understand the why's…why a young man would be taken from his wife and child…his parents...his siblings...his friends...yet was talking about you the other day and this person said they felt like something was spared from happening…and I know that even though a hard one…that you, Jay, would step up and say I can go…I don’t know what happened…what was kept from happening…but in this conversation we talked of how your wife and child…your family and friends…knew you loved them…that you didn’t leave because you didn’t love them.    I think of many that do not have that comfort in knowing that their daddy loved them…that their spouse loved them…and their friend loved them…and their child or brother...or son-in-love...and I am reminded of the verse…

No greater LOVE 

than this who lay down one’s life for his friends.

John 15:13

These very words carved on your stone…and though I didn’t know you a long time in terms of years on this earth…I knew you enough to know that you would lay down your life for a friend…for a child you didn’t know…yes even for me… ole “Sweetness”…so on this cold and snowy day…I lift my tea cup and I toast you and give thanks for you and think of you taking in Heaven without us…I think how my Mom I am sure adores you…and I am thankful to be part of the ripple that your story has touched in my life…reminding me of the things that matter…and the things that really don’t…and I thank God for you on this cold snowy Wednesday…

And though I won’t join others who will gather at your grave to remember you…you remain 4EVER in my heart!!!

lys

I'm there...

 Yesterday a Kelly day...some days you don't know it until the close of day...but when you look back...

Kelly my cousin...his mom and mine sisters.   We the same age...in fact this year he would be 60!  Kelly was the one that was always cool it seemed...one of the funniest guys with that dry sense of humor...I keep looking at this pic and him just looking right through me almost with that smirk...humoring me with a pic that I cherish...

 I have a picture from when we were kids...even then while the rest of us geeks for sure...he was still looking cool...

Anyway...back to my day...I had seen there on my timeline a message from Kelly to me August 25, 2010 saying simply, "I'm there".    Me trying to figure out where there was.   That it would show up on this day when I had read a devotional and the reading was Psalm 139...and there I had written 10/20/16 Ryder Kelly Petrie by the verse...

For You formed my inward parts; You covered me in my mother's womb.   I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Marvelous are Your works,  And that my soul knows very well."  Psalm 139:13-14

Ryder Kelly the son of my cousin Vonnie's son Bret...who if Kelly would have had a son...I am sure would have been a lot like Bret...or maybe for fun he would have been like Vonnie...but  later in the day I get a picture from Vonnie...Yvonne I suppose to some...saying Little Kelly...Axell...and after chatting with Vonnie...I share and think yep Kelly...a part of you there indeed...

So I share with my brother who said he on his mind too...rode Kelly's Harley...and so this morning and open tab on my computer and it is the message from Kelly..."I'm there"...and I go to see where there was when I think...maybe there is more than just where we were 11 years ago...and I feel love transcends...and so I feel a nudge to remember you Kelly and share with others...that you a special part in our lives...

And I find where we all were...at my brother's at the "cornpalooza" and thinking Jo had said we need another...and I came across a picture from there when looking...treasured memories for sure...

And I come across a blog I wrote for you when we said goodbye...I remember parts of that day...and I remember hearing the motorcycles pull up while your niece played Amazing Grace...and how it hit me...and I see pictures and video of my great niece this morning...and I think of all of us getting older and these little ones...and this song on the blog Forever Young...and the song written by Bob Dylan seems to be a prayer and a thanks to the LORD for letting us feel a visit from one we love...

A reminder that we may stay forever young...with childlike faith and love for life...and I sing along...

May God bless and keep you always

May your wishes all come true

May you always do for others

And let others do for you

May you build a ladder to the stars

And climb on every rung

May you stay forever young

Forever young, forever young

May you stay forever young.

lyp

Abundant...

 As I read John 10:10…My thoughts go to the killings in Boulder…such a different meaning taken on when the word kill is used…my prayers for their families…for the police officer said to have 7 children.   And a writing seems to come as I look at those who were killed…

Just like that…lives forever changed…and though there were 10 individuals killed…and that word just has such a haunting to it…and as I seek a definition of the word as mine seems to say to take another’s life…I find a search that asks if killed is a verb…and then it goes on to say, “extinguish the life of”…so many lives forever changed!     

I read what is written of each of these individuals…each a unique individual in their own rights.   In one place I had looked, the news seemed to give that of what Facebook postings had to say…yet others were given a few short sentences in what someone who cared about them said…and I pause and wonder…what would be said of me?  Though this not about me…it is something to reflect upon…isn’t our life more than a summation of a few words…or is it!

One of the most mentioned is a police officer, Eric Talley… Officer Talley leaving behind 7 children…and I do the math of him being an officer for 10 years…and I think of another police officer in my circle…killed 10 years ago…as in life…one leaves and another begins.   I thinking and praying for new officers who are beginning…and my heart goes to this family of love…this family of blood…this family of duty…  

I see the headlines…some trying to instantly make this political…to fit in with agendas…yet LIFE isn’t supposed to be about political and agendas…it is about the dashes…the love…of what we did in this life while here on this earth…and I look back at the verse…John 10:10…life abundantly!   ABUNDANT…a word that could take on so much…yet I find in definitions one that says…

SHEFA (ABUNDANCE): Shefa is a word in Hebrew literally meaning Abundance. This holy symbol is the symbol of abundance in its highest form - as a Divine principle of the flow between Creator to His creation.

In having a faith in Jesus…I believe there is MORE…more than just this life of a dash between the dates…I picture a baptism of my granddaughter…at her daddy's mass...(I put a link to another writing of that time https://pennify.blogspot.com/2011/03/point-of-light.html)…and she would use the signing taught to her by her aunt…and as the water sprinkled upon her she signed for more…though the choices made during the dash determines what comes after the date and the dash and the date…there it does not stop…I know some think I use the dot…dot…dot…way too often...of my sentences running together…Although…life is a continuation…sometimes a single period will not suffice…life doesn’t always just simply stop…there is MORE…ABUNDANT!!!

Yet there are those who come to try and steal and kill…to destroy…and that is nothing but evil!    It can be fought all day of this or that being the cause of death…yet bottom line is it goes back…back to the garden when we began with our “free” choices…to live as we thought fit…not always taking the path of love and good…but instead hate and evil…Though during this season…coming upon Easter…we are reminded there is more…Jesus “killed” so that mine and your dot-dot-dot…my ellipsis more formally defined…could go on beyond my dash—why?  Because death has been defeated!   There where One named Jesus took the bullet if you will…for me…for any who would choose to believe…

I pray for peace and comfort for lives "extinguished" in what seems way too soon… and this prayer extends beyond just those 10…others I know who have given goodbye’s sooner than they would like…of families I have seen and felt some of the pain they are feeling…and during this time…may prayers be made for peace and comfort…prayers I have felt in times as this…prayers for strength to get through the hard days ahead…and prayers that they will feel the “Good Shepherd”… (talked of there in this Book I have opened by a man named John…who seemed to be a part of Jesus’ inner circle)…that the LORD…our Shepherd…may be close by their side…allowing them to “find the green pastures”…That they may have life…and have it more ABUNDANTLY…lyp

Farewell to Winter...

 A day behind...as it is now the first day of Spring...yesterday after a beautiful walk by the pond I had written...

Farewell to Winter…as I walk around the pond and listen to the serenade of the birds…a lone duck swims across and almost as it seems to see me…it retreats…I look at my barn…no it is not mine…but it is one I love to walk past.   It still covered in snow…though it continues to melt away and give way for precious moisture for the coming growth of spring time…SPRING…a new season…one of new life…new birth…and I ponder my favorite…and it very well could be…though I love fall…it is one of goodbye…of harvest…even though I think perhaps I in the fall of my life…yet still bouts of Spring seem to emerge…

Winter is past I read in Song of Solomon...and so I place it on the snow covered barn picture that appears as though a chilly winter when in fact...the sun shining!   

And a few other pics I capture on my phone...a glimpse of the moment...and prayers for the new season that awaits...may we enjoy the spring time...may we be made new...the grass is coming...breathe in the season!!!

lyp

Ashes to ashes...

 Today...Ash Wednesday...first day of Lent...and I not one who really knew much of Lent other than my friends I remember would "give up something"...and 10 years ago I did not know anything of Ash Wednesday...10 years ago...Ash Wednesday...and though it is not March 9, 2011...it does bring back memories...

On the morn of Ash Wednesday...10 years ago...just another day of going to work.   Yet it was different in the fact that I had an experience that I may have not shared with many...though now the words seem to come out on my paper.   I had a picture come to my mind...a dream if you will...though I wide awake.  I don't know what it was...but I felt it to my core.  In this vision of sorts...I seen people reaching out from the ground...reaching towards me saying, "Why didn't you tell me!"    And as they reached...they cried out...as though reaching from their graves...

And then...that evening...the call came...the call that was as none I had ever received and pray never to receive again...the news that my son-in-law...Jay Sheridan...had been killed!!!   My daughter's husband...my granddaughter's Daddy...and that night...I remember those that sat with ashes on their foreheads...a part of their faith...a Faith that Jesus died for our sins...even though we did not deserve...and I had faith that Jay a believer...not because he deserved...but because he believed.

I have a picture I took of fire...an intense fire that just seemed to capture me...and with my ashes theme decide to put verses on it...

The first verse I find is in Genesis...of Abraham talking to the LORD saying, "I who am nothing but dust and ashes have taken it upon myself to speak to the LORD."    Just little ole me...and I thought sometimes how though not Abraham...have thought how I am not anything but here I am talking to the LORD...

...and then the other in Daniel...Daniel...one who could tell what a dream meant...one who was fed to the lions and came out to tell of it...of one who put on his sackcloth...sat in his ashes and prayed...prayed for those around him...in his sadness...and today I have been reminded from past and present...how precious life is...how we don't know...and I look around us...and I read further in Daniel's Prayer it was referred to and think of the word I have been given lately..."Mercy"...and I think of our nation...our world...both big and small...and these words stick out of how we all ignore many commandments...but the biggest...to LOVE...but the words I read a prayer indeed...speaking from our ashes...not because we deserve...but because we ask for Mercy...

“Now, our God, hear the prayers of your servant. Listen to my prayer for help, and for your sake do good things for your holy place that is in ruins. My God, pay attention and hear me. Open your eyes and see all the terrible things that have happened to us. See how our lives have been ruined and what has happened to the city that is called by your name. We do not ask these things because we are good; instead, we ask because of Your mercy. Lord, listen! Lord, forgive! Lord, hear us and do something!   Daniel 9:17-19

I read something when looking on Ash Wednesday...something that sort of resonates with me...and there is an article with the date March 9...only 2014...as I search for ashes and sackcloth...because what exactly is sackcloth?   Or as the New Century Version translation calls it "rough cloth".   But I find an article from erortega.com...one not familiar with...but the words are just from the initial search where I read..."In the Bible, sackcloth, and ashes was worn as a sign of repentance for sin.  Simply put, sackcloth and ashes was an external demonstration for an internal condition.".    INTERNAL CONDITION...

Whoa and part of this faith that I cling to...is of repentance...of forgive us our trespasses...and forgiving others...of believing in Jesus...in His Love...in His Life...and there plays a song that does not add to the sadness and loss I have been reminded of from past and present...but that which makes this Faith I cling to...that those who believe will RISE!!!   And so I leave with a song that picks me up...

As I sing along and give an Amen....

Well I keep on coming to this place

That I don't know quite how to face

So I lay down my life in hopes to die

That somehow I might rise

Yes I will rise

Out of these ashes rise

From this trouble I have found

And this rubble on the ground

I will rise

Cause He Who is in me

Is greater than I will ever be

And I will rise

AMEN!