From my kitchen table...and beyond...: Going Home...Hallelujah...love you Paul

And this morning at my kitchen table...awakened by thunder...and I am taken back to July of 1989 of hearing a loud crash of thunder and lightning filling the sky and the phone call from my brother...my dad was gone...though I already knew.    I look at the word gone...and think of the wording...I hear some refer as passed...and I ponder...but he was gone from the pain and suffering that held him down.

Now here it is July 2016 and I get a text from my BFSB...that would be Sheryl Chisman Saine...telling me..."Hi HP!   I just wanted to let you know that my dad passed away this morning.   We were planning on bringing him home today but God took him home!."

I knowing that I could not call at that time and be of any support and so there a verse...

"Therefore you may now have sorrow, but I will see you again and your heart will rejoice...and your joy no one will take away from you.   John 16:22

And we talk of our parents rejoicing together...and I think of Paul...

There are those that are a part of your life and then there are those who impact your life and you are forever changed just because you knew them. Paul was one of those people to me. I had shared that once in Sunday School...Paul said you may be the only Bible some people ever read...he talked of how at work....he a cement truck driver...that some would give him a hard time of his faith...though he really not one to preach...you knew that he believed in Jesus. But he talked of how some of those same ones when faced with hard times...would want to know about his Jesus...I steal a picture of Emily's...Shane and I talking of this being one of my memories of Paul...

Paul was laughter and fun...I remember stock car races...one of our favorite memories...he and Fred Hardman racing the Chevy against the Ford on the 4th of July...and it was mentioned at his memorial...but I had thought I wonder if cars in Heaven...cause I bet Paul is ripping it up...

On my way to the memorial...going to what used to be home...Hanover...where I grew up...but on the way I get behind a cement truck and have to follow it...I smile thinking of it being a concrete truck as I on my way to join others who are celebrating the life of one truck driver....when I get up to pass it...yes Transit Mix and thinking I will take donuts as my desert...because one couldn't think of Dunkin Donuts and Paul not come to mind (and when I get to the service...a table loaded with Dunkin Donuts)...and there waiting on the light...another Transit Mix truck and so me running late (yes Randy I did listen closely about the whole margin thing...one to pray on).    But as I headed out Hanover road...I taken back and can remember my mom saying well you probably won't drive slow so drive careful.   Sometimes going faster than one should...but I wondered how many times Paul opened up on that old road...

And I get there with a few minutes to spare...hugs to some and then there is Carol.   A second mom to me...she our cook at school...and I will never forget the hug and how she held on so tightly to me as I to her and I could feel her heart...her loss...her love.   This woman who has lost an amazing part of her life tells me Paul loved you.   As I think of this I think...yes I knew that.   There are some in your life...you really never knew...but yes I knew Paul loved me and I loved him.

I find my Sheryl and am thankful that we had talked over the phone and shared some tears there...me thinking I need to be comforting them and yet my tears flowed as well...and sometimes maybe it is just letting others know that you feel their loss...you really feel it!!!

And I am told your brother is here.   I knew they had discussed coming...and with Shane and Jo...you never know what they might do.   They left a little after 4 a.m. to come.   Traveling over the mountain...Shane with a bundle of his own Paul memories and stories.   Of Dad and Paul pouring concrete when Paul would get some "free".    Paul just one of the "good ole boys" meant with pure respect...and I think of another verse I had received some time back of Paul...but came across it again...and find a pic of it I had sent to Sheryl...

I see it is written and Paul suffered...and I believe much like my dad...he suffered until he thought his family was in a place...and that we could let go because we didn't want to see them in the pain they endured...and I think of these two men who are a part of who I am...

During the memorial first Sheryl's family spoke...Kendra holding a sweet little one who brought joy to his great grandpa and I think of Kendra probably being near that age she with her parents came to visit my dad in the hospital and Kendra hopping on the elevator...by herself...scaring us all...she not one worry and I see the woman she has become...a wife and mother and still seems pretty fearless as she took care of things helping out...of Kelsey giving her thank you.    I heard stories of the special bond she and Paul shared with their cars...she just has that gentleness...I think of her mom...Randy speaking and playing piano...a man that Sheryl talked of reminding her of her dad...us laughing of how I had told her she needed someone to loosen her up for fun...and yes Randy you did.

Then Sheryl got up to speak and we had already shared this conversation but Paul had suffered for a while.   He kept getting chances to "go home" but then would not be able to.   The family had helped move Paul and Carol not too long ago from their Hanover home on Chisman Lane not far from where he grew up...a place where I had spent many a fun times...a place always welcome...I know a hard move for them to make.   But then Sheryl said on Tuesday...they were told Paul is doing better he will get to go home on Friday.    Carol told Paul the news that he would go home on Friday...and they said he lifted his arm and said Hallelujah...

And yes Paul did go "Home" on Friday...and one ponders...did he know the home they were meaning or did he know the Home he was thinking.    Knowing Paul and his faith...that he knew Jesus was waiting for him...because he believed Jesus paid the price for him to live forever...I choose to believe Paul knew which Home...he had fought the good fight...

The gymnasium filled with friends from past...from present...family...as I walked in a woman helped me carry in my stuff...and she a friend of Yvonne's...I remember her last name...Yoder so I look and I see Cynthia Yoder...and she says she knew of me from facebook...hmmmm...glad she still spoke to me!

One of the deep breath moments was when the fire department gave honor to this honorary firemen...and with quite ceremony two firefighters carried the axes and then the flag and the presentation of the flag so honoring...the ringing of the bell...and then the hard one...the last call...and perhaps it is not only the loss of one but it triggers memories of others we have lost...but I was told that we remember them with the love...not the dark and the loss.   And so I think on that...

As I am writing...Third Day sings Nothing Compares to the Greatness of knowing You Lord...and a dove flashes by my window...and a peace fills my soul!

I think back of the memorial...listening to Brenda's words read by Tony...Tony sharing his own words...Tony...And when I see him to give a hug...I call him Burt and he calls me Doris...and more memories come...and then Emily...I have got to know her as a grown woman via the social media...and love her...have loved watching her children grow...and some of her stories...I feel I have lived them somewhat...her Gunner makes me think of my Lance and speaking of there was one pic that I love of the guy...well he happens to be one of those that my camera wants to follow...but he riding down the hall the John Deere that his mom had received from Grandpa Paul and Grandma Carol...and I think of Emily sharing:

"Trying to explain death to small children is difficult. After telling Tressie and Gunner that Great Grandpa had gone to Heaven, three-year-old Gunner became inquisitive. I explained to him that if he loves Jesus and has Jesus in his heart, one day he'll get to to Heaven and see Great Papa again. "Well I love Jesus and I want Jesus in my heart" was his response. If you want to see Grandpa again someday, that would be the greatest gift to him, if you'd love Jesus and have Jesus in your heart."

And though I have so many stories I just add a few pictures of the day...and remember a man who touched my life my heart and I am happy he is Home and we will see you again...my love and prayers to these special women...

I think of Paul the Grandpa...I am sure one he loved as much as husband and dad...

And I wonder how I missed Emily and Tony and Randy...a little off of my game ;) but I loved getting to see my favorite brother and his bride...they no matter how long I see them...fill my heart with love...

And another long time friend...Mary Spencer...another part of my story...her daughter Nancy and Sheryl share the same birthday...making them much older than I! :)

As I walk through the halls of a school that seems familiar but far from the little school house I attended many years ago...there is a sign that seems very fitting of Paul Chisman...

I always like to look at what things are put together to represent a life...some beautiful momentums...the one probably catching me most the worn Holy Bible's...and love notes to Carol...and Carol and those who love...may you continue to get those love notes...when you see a sunrise...a butterfly...a sunset...or just a cool breeze gently kissing you on the cheek...know that Paul is HOME...I think of the song that played at the end...click here... Far Side Banks of Jordan

And before I left Hanover...I journeyed down the road to see my uncle...who had been there but I hadn't got to talk to...and we talked of Paul...of other things...he and his dog...I know missing a friend...

Each of us grieving and giving respect to a special man each in our own way...seeing many faces from long ago...and I say see you later my friend...see you later!

And so you suppose there is a Chisman Lane in Heaven...Paul meeting up with those who have gone Home before him...and we will see you on the other side!