So I took a trip to my kitchen table today instead of on the way to Missouri to the sheep show...But since Lancey Pants is still under the weather...the trip was cancelled. Granted I could have went to work...but I opted to stay home since I had already said I wouldn't be working...the shepherd with his parents on a doctor's visit...
And then I stepped away from here but still thought about the day all day of where I was 5 years ago...this morning when I began thinking of it...I was working when I heard from my favorite son-in-law that they were keeping Heather and we were going to have a baby...my Firecracker was coming! And it took all of the day...all of the night...and then early in the morning FINALLY! I remember that the Shepherd and Uncle Lance drove to get there. Our family and Jay's family all there...we gave a camera for an early anniversary present for Heather and Jay and Lance began taking pictures...some he wasn't sure about...but the doctor told him too...
Much has happened in those five years...and not a day goes by we don't think of one little Firecracker's daddy...but so thankful for the little girl that definitely takes part of his name...
Upon returning home the Shepherd went out to work on his projects when I went to see him...and check out the "birthday" project and we worked on it some! A playhouse for Miss Izzy. Of course, I think of my own dad in watching the Shepherd build it...and so excited to get it to her...we do get an extension to work on it...so with it being Throw Back Thursday...I pull out a five years ago shot! Well almost five years ago...what a sweetie...
And one of my favorite pics of when she was just a new one...her and her daddy...Hard to believe so tiny...
And then we flash ahead another year...with her Peanut cake made by Pam...
Here in her 1st Birthday Rocking Chair...
And her second birthday...June 2011...and though there was a sadness...this little Firecracker does what she does...and just makes you smile!
She decorated her own cake...oh Crazy Girl...
And pretty big stuff right here as Grammy Looks on...June of 2012...three years old...
And here she is from last year...doing what she wants to do on her birthday. She was sad we weren't going to Missouri...she wanted to swim...
And there she is smiling ear to ear...probably as much of the kids as she is the cake!!
My throw back Thursday...and bet we aren't near as tired today as back FIVE YEARS ago...I wonder where the time has went.
Love you and so thankful for the JOY you have brought to our life...see you tomorrow! Happy Birthday Firecracker!!!
I have thought of Jay all day...for some who might not know...I always assume that all that read these words know all that I know...who I know...perhaps you do not know the story...and perhaps another day would be the time for parts of the story...but today I just choose to remember.
I am sure there is some in the camp that I talk too much about my "favorite son-in-law"...but after Jay was killed...it has felt something that part of me perhaps part of my job was to help keep his memory alive. Granted I may not do it the right way...but I do it out of love...love for Jay and his memory...love for my daughter...my granddaughter...Jay's family...my family...and then for those who did not know him...
This morning I began to write...Jay's birthday...I come to the garden alone...there is intense sunshine shining on my face. I think of Jay calling me "sweetness". I stop and wonder...what if...but I read in Jesus Calling...YOU ARE MY BELOVED CHILD.
"I think of Jay...a beloved child...and I read on "Your hope and your future are rooted in heaven, where eternal ecstasy awaits you. Nothing can rob you of your inheritance of unimaginable riches and well- being."
One of the verses for the day...Proverbs 16:9... 9 A man’s heart plans his way, But the Lord directs his steps
I think of Jay Bird loving what he did...something we can't all say...as I had read I felt the nudge to read a part out of Lessons from a Sheep Dog...I have loved reading the comparisons and so today what would I come upon...and I read...
"This is My commandment. That ye love one another, as I have loved you. Greater love hath no man that this, that a man lay down his life for his friends. Ye are my friends, if ye do whatsoever I command you." John 15:12-14.
I think of a picture of one little IzzyBell during a wedding shower...picking dandelions...and though not feeling the best...she still just oozes joy to me...
Ahhh love...I think of a gift of love...one little "Peanut" as her daddy called her. Jay's mama telling me of how Izzy looks like her daddy only a girl version. I think of the gift of love that Jay left behind...that he had people that he loved that loved him in return...who in turn love his family...
I do not know the why's...the reasons...the seasons...but I know once upon a time there was a little boy who wanted to grow up and be a cop...along the way he married my daughter...and next thing I know...I am an Ahma...and I try to capture moments and memories (again some think too many to some).
And so again I am talking about Jay Bird...just a regular guy...who just wanted to have a wife and some kids...and be a cop...but in doing his job...part of it got cut short...or did it? I heard different talks of Heaven today...how we should think about it...that there is more than just this life...and so I had thought of how Jay got a shortcut...as I was eating my lunch today...the song came on my Pandora by Matthew West...Save a Place for me...After we had lost Jay I listened to this song over and over and watched a video that showed Jay's memorial...a youTube that is sad to watch...but beautiful...I think of the words...Don't be mad if I cry...and goes on to say Save A place for Me...and I think about saving a place...I think in believing as a Christian...that there is but One Way in our belief of Jesus...and in that belief...I believe that Jay believed...and with that said I plan to see him again one day...I had came across a picture earlier in the week and so had put it up earlier...and it just seems one to include. Gina Jeffries...I feel that it was a gift that you took this picture...capturing joy...that one day a little Peanut will look at this and see how much LOVE was in her life...
So I think of Jay and do not want to make it sad...though I was told today by my sister from another mother and another father that this pic made her happy and sad at the same time. So today I am thankful...thankful that Jay Sheridan was born...and I choose to be thankful he married my daughter...because if he had not...we would be "Peanutless"...and so I bring this to a close...knowing I really didn't explain...and those that understand will understand...and those that don't...won't. I guess we all are called to do different things...I feel part of my calling is to share the love and light of our LORD...the love of those that have gone on ahead......days as today...I seemed to feel a little stronger...so I leave you and hope you choose to smile...to share a snapshot at a celebration of life...and a reminder that these moments should not be taken for granted...
So I say Happy Birthday Jay Bird! We sure do miss you...
Today at my kitchen table came just a tad later...you see I was the SIC...yep that's me the shepherd in charge...but I laugh because I think of sic in writing...I include the definition I came across...because well I am thinking that perhaps when some of the things I write get transcribed [sic] might very well be appropriate...perhaps just putting sic after what I write when I write it then one might expect there is going to be something in there SIC!!!
The Latinadverbsic ("thus"; in full: sic erat scriptum, "thus was it written")[1] added immediately after a quoted word or phrase (or a longer piece of text), indicates that the quotation has been transcribed exactly as found in the original source, complete with any erroneous or archaic spelling or other nonstandard presentation. The notation's usual purpose is to inform the reader that any errors or apparent errors in the transcribed material do not arise from errors in the course of the transcription, and the errors have been repeated intentionally, i.e., that they are reproduced exactly as set down by the original writer or printer. It may also be used as a form of ridicule or as a humorous comment, drawing attention to the original writer's spelling mistakes or emphasizing his or her erroneous logic.[2] Sic is generally placed inside square brackets "[ ]", and traditionally in italics, as is customary when printing a foreign word. It is sometimes placed in parentheses "( )" instead, though this is less than optimal, as brackets are meant to signify that something was added to a quote
And there you have a little lesson today...oh yeah where was I. Well you see there I was...Well turns out the shepherd and the son...took a little road trip...now to some they might not understand the beauty in a gift from a son to a father...to ask him to join him on a road trip to Oklahoma to pick up a trailer load of sheep. I mean what father in his right mind would not jump at an opportunity such as this...mind you this wasn't a usual trip. They actually spent the night in a motel and everything... though last time I heard they were in Dodge City heading this way.
Now our daughter...she would be the mother of the child saying I ain't going to Kansas for the last weekend shepherd trip...So she instead thought of a new phone...a SMART phone...as compared to the dumb a** phone that the shepherd currently has. You see I have already gained something from this as I too am now a member of the smart phone crowd...that when you dictate to your phone and say a word I assume that is not appropriate though I do not know who makes the list...*** appear...WHO KNEW! Does one put sic after that?? But I did have the funnest (is that a sic word?)time yesterday with my girls...we went to get flower girl boots for Kasey Jo's wedding...and somehow ended up at the Verizon store getting new phones as well....which is an excellent way to use up most of your time...but a fun time for sure!
And so I giving a gift in and of itself...was the shepherd...oh granted...I had all the buckets of grain already set out by the shepherd and son...and everything in place...so not really a shepherd probably a shepherd ass...t oh yeah I better put the t on there or I will have to put a**....Anyway I am going somewhere...and if I don't hope you enjoy the ride...
I began by mixing up the bottles of milk for the first 6 bottle babies...One must understand that the shepherd is one that well if I am going to be taking care of 8 and 2 nurse cows...well why not take care of 60 or so? And so the power ranger awaits me as it is to be used to carry buckets back and forth from the house to the barn...and I hop in and the radio is set to AM...oh yeah baby...that is part of the package...ain't nothing like AM radio...and I smile because who is serenading me as I begin my day...BUT WILLIE NELSON himself...and I head to the barn and begin singing along...ON THE ROAD AGAIN...JUST CAN'T WAIT TO GET ON THE ROAD AGAIN...THE LIFE I LOVE IS MAKING MUSIC WITH MY FRIENDS...well you get the idea...the first 6...were all ready and eager to eat...I probably did not start as early as the HSIC...that would be the HEAD SHEPHERD IN CHARGE...
I return to mix up yet more milk...and this time I get in the truck and it is Jerry Reed...singing east bound and down...loaded up and trucking...and I immediately think of the boys road tripping...of my child hood and me and my brother loving this song...As most know I love music...most kinds...and love when music seems to be adding a sound track to your day...and funny how that sound track can change the way we think of a situation...granted both of those songs kind of put me in the git 'r done [sic]...and then on the last batch of milk to haul out...it came on...my song of the day...Does anyone else seem to have a song put on their heart every day and some days it stays with you the whole day! I love it...ANYWAY the song...LOVE IS ALIVE...
I cannot listen to this song and not think of three little Hamilton girls...many moons ago at a family reunion singing this song! And I smile at the amazing daddy that God brought to the "Lene girls" as my son calls them...my cousin Gaylene,,,her girls Kylene, Arlene, and Jolene...were blessed with a man that I think of another song..."The man he didn't have to be"...and I thought of those amazing men...dad's...that yep made LOVE ALIVE! And as my mind does...in thinking of these girls...I think of Gaylene's daddy...Uncle Walt...battling health...life and death...holding on as he has always done that has made us all love him so...he held on to life in the way he lived at times...I picture him this morning at my kitchen table...not maybe one of the young men...but getting to be one of the older men that if any of you remember the "potato races" at Missouri Day...well the young ones were going to show these old cowboys how it was done...not thinking it was as easy a time as they thought it might be...and I think how I wish I would have had pictures I could pull out from those days and include in here...yep have music and pictures to accompany your life...but I ask for prayers for him...for his family...these are not easy days...I have lived through these days with my own dad! A verse seems to fit in here...lead here by a reference in Jesus Calling but I add other verses that I read while there...
Seeing the Invisible
16 Therefore we do not lose heart. Even though our outward man is perishing, yet the inward man is being renewed day by day. 17 For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, is working for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory, 18 while we do not look at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen. For the things which are seen are temporary, but the things which are not seen are eternal. 2 Corinthians 4:16-18
And though we want to keep them with us...and I wonder as the case with uncle Walt...of my dad...did these tough guys fight a little harder to stay alive....cause we all know they put more than the allowed miles on them bodies. But I often think my dad hung on or God allowed him to hang on until he knew my brother and mom and I were okay...I think of the letter he wrote us all that a copy sits on my mantel...and I may have shared before but it is Father's Day and it is words to remember...a Father's Day gift from my dad!
Though it was in a print that wasn't his very neat writing...it was some of the most powerful words he ever wrote...
To my FRIENDS AND AND BEloVED FAMILY. I I AM SORRY TO STOP NOW PLEASE EXPLATO THE LITTLE ONE THE BODY CAN ONLY CAN TAKE SO MUCH AND FOUND ITS LIMITS I WILL SEE YOU ALL IN HEAVEN BECAUSWEBeLOng t GOD. HEATHER LANCE AND KIDS AND WIFE ENJOY LIFE TO THE MOST.
LOVE YA
JIM
HOOPPEE
SIC...and I know how very SICk he was when he wrote this and how hard he worked to write it. I wonder if my dad suffered so much just so that we could actually let go so he wouldn't have to suffer any longer... My brother spent many a night (and day) with my dad...mom would spend the days with him...I not as many as them but moments with him were moments of precious time...but perhaps time helping me understand that the body can only take so much...I remember being torn of wanting to be with him...but still I had two little ones and a full time job and a dairy and wanted to be there as well...OH YEAH...MILKING COWS!! Where was I???
Yes I had all of that going through my mind from one song...as well looking up and there was the moon...and my verse came..."If you seek Me...you will find Me when you search with all your heart!"
And as I fed the last bunch of bottle babies (though not all on the bottle...one goal is to get them drinking their milk by a simple pouring...you know kind of a sippie cup kind of concept) but as I had been listening to the power ranger radio that was maybe playing Glen Campbell's Country Boy and I had just kept the radio on as I was feeding babies...and I hear little ones singing Jesus Loves the Little Children...and I am taken back to another favorite from my childhood...Everything is Beautiful by Ray Stevens...and my mind made me think of my Grandma Bessie's sister's daughter's son's wife...who shares the same name as her husband...when I say shares the same name...THEY SHARE...because they share the same first name...so often she is referred to as Miss Cherry...and I think of her post of her chance to go home to Kansas from Alaska...and she posts a parade of old tractors and says, "It's the little things I miss about Kansas! Enjoying my last full day home! #100happydays" [sic] But I love how whether she is in Alaska (amazing scenery) or with her husband or many of the things...I think of my dad's writing, "ENJOY LIFE TO THE MOST" [sic] I realize how often I quote...and in the case of Miss Cherry...wanted you to understand why the writing seemed a little more clearer and easier to understand than some of my ramblings...
Some of the shepherd's babies eating on their own...
And I am taken back to the milk cows...I have still not blogged on the nurse cows...Mollie, Elsie (who almost did not get to keep that name as is very close to Elsa from Frozen fame and then Sassy) and with the word Sassy comes to mind a couple of sassy ones that I had shared a pic of the shepherd having help from little Firecracker milking the cows last weekend...and when I snapped a pic of the shepherd he pointed his stick at me...to which the SIT (shepherd in training) takes on the same pose...
I am never sure about the influences of this man on these little ones...I refer to time with Oppy much like Vegas...what happens at Oppy's stays at Oppy's. They might eat junk...ride tractors and more. The other day he had our nieces boys with him for a bit...on the way back from lunch he and the boys stopped off at the John Deere store and got to check it out...and smile when they are talking how Mason loved the combines...and I ask Peyton how much they cost and he said probably $15,000. I said you might be able to buy a four-wheeler with that...better save his money. So he tells me...you got some work for me to do...just thought it was cute...but loved that his dad and mom were letting him know...you gotta work for it...
Riding the tractor with Uncle Timmy...
Sporting their new John Deere hats
I get back to time to milk the cows...well I don't personally...that's what the babies are for and first is Mollie...she is the favorite milk cow...she is what you envision a milk cow should be like. I will have to give a full blog to them...I find I am running out of time if this is to make a deadline of being complete by Father's day as all the father's I know are sleeping...Anyway I am taken in by all of the talk of father's today...and thankful for my father...my husband...my husband's father...my brother... friends and daddy to friends...my granddaughter's daddy...and the Peanut's "Grandad" who has been a special man in Izzy's life...I watch the news and know that the news anchor giving much talk on father's feels the loss of his father...my uncle...and so many other daddy's! So I pull out a few favorites...some still with us...some gone...but all keeping love alive...
My husband's dad...Grandpa Sise Heather used to call him
Love to give this guy a hard time...as he gives it right back!
One of my faves of Izzy and Jay...
Me and my dad...and my Uncle Jerry...holding the bottle...love both these dads!
One of my faves from Bethany's wedding as it reminds me of the joy
between a dad and daughter...Even when their song is Whoa Black Betty!
Love my brother Shane and the dad he is...
An old one but a fave of Izzy and Grandad...a special bond indeed!
An old one of my Uncle Walt with his sons...Lyle another daddy that left us way too soon!
This one Oppy looking at one little Firecracker...
And I think of love is alive with these daddy's...as Third Day sings You know I have always loved you but I go back to Love is Alive...no none of these are perfect dads...but they are dad's with love! And there is a George Strait song...I stick in...
I add in this video even though I do not know these dad's...the song at the beginning is my daughter's ring tone...who gets to play the part of mom and dad...I have a pic of her and Izzy I include just cause...it shows how much love is alive...
And I add one more song...in case I haven't told you I love music...this was a song of the day as well as Daddy's hands...and I have heard it said that sometimes how we view God is how we view our own fathers...and you know I always knew he loved me...and though some may have not had this feeling...our Heavenly Father loves us...I read a writing by a young guy today...who spoke of reminding us we are never Fatherless..
I came across this one today...and just seemed to go with it all...with the song...the day...
And I am sure you are wondering...when will her bike ride end...it went all day off and on...the shepherd and son made it home...the son off to deliver some sheep...and off for a "business trip" many to keep in prayers...many that keep love alive...and yes the shepherd is home...I heard the sheep breath a sigh of relief....ahhhhhhh [sic] and I have missed my deadline...but Happy Father's Day all the same...help keep the love alive!
