Wednesday, May 4, 2011

How you doing...

So funny how I have subjects that just keep coming up!   I have been working on another blog and it keeps disappearing so I will shelf it...because this keeps pressing me!  I had talked to my daughter a while back and said, "How are you?"   I was just getting her take on it because I get asked quite often and would answer others but HOW ARE WE REALLY!!     Her answer was so true..."It depends on the day, the minute, what you are doing."   So that was probably the start because many caring people ask how you are doing.

I was then talking to my friend who just lost her husband and we talked about how people ask how you are and she said they want you to say fine...good.   And isn't that true...we want others to be good to be fine and are we ready if they are not?   Do we want to know that their heart hurts?   That they are having a down day?   Fine is probably easier to deal with.

But then this morning I was watching the Today show.   There was a woman on there that had lost her husband, mother-in-law, and child all shot by her father-in-law.   She survived but was paralyzed along with her unborn child survived.    So a well meaning Meredith says, "How are you doing?"  "Physically...emotionally."   And I am thinking here this is an interview being seen by others...what will this woman say.   I am amazed she can even function.   And this woman talks of how her and her mom would joke about it (it had been I think about two years) but she was honest and said she was not fine and kind of went into some of the issues that she had...

So I drop my husband off to take his Mom to the doctor because "Mom" just had knee surgery and "Dad" is not feeling too good.   With this thought on my mind I say, "How are you?"   To which I get an answer from Mom and then she says they woke up this morning and asked each other how they were which they both said, "FINE"!    I laughed and said then what does FINE really mean!   

I then decided to do some research (it really was sincere I did want to know but also research!) and I would put on my Facebook and the Family site only "HOW ARE YOU?"   I got a few replies.  I did love the "fantaboulous"...I need some of that Kristin!  But I also loved the ones who told me exactly how they were feeling.   That they knew me well enough that they knew I could handle if they weren't great!   I asked my friend who had been out sick and I have been friends long enough that I can see in her eyes how she is feeling...but I said HOW ARE YOU?    And she told me how she really was.   That's what we should be able to do with others...those we love! 

I later asked our student how she was and in a tired voice said good.   I told her that she wasn't very convincing ;)   And now I am trying to remember the word she gave made me smile!   I later chatted with another who told me they were "alright"...and then gave me a positive thing of their day.

And I know you can't get caught in the negative but it's okay if you are not always fine and you don't have to say you are fine...sometimes for the sake of time or the barriers we put up we simply say I'm good!    But I love it when you ask someone how they are and they truly are good and you really didn't need to ask by that big old smile on their face!    Yes for the sake of time...we do not always take the time to see how others are...but you know sometimes you don't have to really ask...just look in their eyes...and I thought I need to make sure when I ask that...I REALLY want to know!     And sometimes you don't need to know...just put your arm around them and let them know you love them!

Izzy and Otis...Doing GooD!
So for those of you that want to know how I am...that could take a while for me to think about but you know I am thankful for so Faith, my friends, and my family...and you know what I am really thankful for...It is my Firecracker Flex Friday this week!   I get to go hang out with Izzy and her mama!    And three days off!   So like my daughter said it just kind of depends...but when you are hanging with a just gotta smile!!!


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