Not goodbye...but see you later Dean...

Dear Dean,

Today your birthday…talking with your folks of the day you were born…your mom said it was raining so much and they were trying to get corn planted…and then she said the rain stopped and didn’t come…May 16, 1952.     Here we are 68 years later…and we are working on getting corn in and I am sure it brings back memories for them…

There was to be a celebration of your life today and hard to believe that so much has happened in the short time ago that you went to be with Jesus…and I think of your story.   What a story!   I have heard of becoming a new creation and know it is so…but I seen quite the amazing transformation in you…I seen relationships healed, bonds grown stronger, and you—you changed.   I have scattered verses throughout my Bible that I have written your name…

One place written in my Bible and my heart was John 3:16…”For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son.  That whosoever believeth in Him shall not perish but have Everlasting Life.”  I remember as I had been reading through the 30 days of John…and on this day I was in John 3.    I thinking of trials we had been through…of your boys living with us for part of their lives…and I remember my heart changed…of hearing a voice saying Dean is a “whosoever” as you are a “whosoever”.   So odd that all happened that I read there the day we went to visit you.   You sat there telling stories of different things and as you spoke you began speaking of wanting to hear from God but that He did not speak to you.   I remember you talking of Moses and his stick…and I remember praying that I hoped you heard from Him…

And as time went on…I remember you telling of your story…that you knew God spoke to you…of you never being the same…of us thinking that on that Christmas day we would say goodbye…BUT instead you went and celebrated with your family….God gave us another year plus… I marveled at the change…cancer…it has taken many away yet in many ways it has given stronger relationships…it has made one appreciate that which was taken for granted…and you were given the gift of peace…of love…of hope and of faith and Eternal Life.   There were moments that I will not forget in the journey…and for that I am thankful.  

I think of Kathy and how she stood by your side…and I admire her strength…and her love…and I think of her today as I pull up a picture of you and her…of her loving you since grade school…

 I think of your boys.  I think of Lucas leaving before you and so many emotions I know you all felt…but so thankful you got time with your boys…that I love you’s were said…and Tate and Brian…you hold a special place in my heart and my love is with you as you go through this loss.   You both there when I lost my dad…and I am sorry I couldn’t be with you.

I think of your Mom and Dad…of time you were given with them even though it is never long enough when it is your child.  On the one day we visited and toured I got a picture of you and your folks and Kathy and Tim…but I remember trying to capture the hugs you gave your folks as well…and how you and your Mom just held on.

My last memory of you was the day we moved your folks to come live with us and you came to check it out…and how we got a group picture of all...you next to your sister and the friendship that you two were given…and thinking of you coming and talking to the other Penni and I…and you putting your arm around us and saying my “Pennies”…and little did I know that we would have to let you both go…and though you were struggling…you posed with the group for the picture…a moment captured in time of a season gone by...

 It was at that time…I thought that I might not get to see you on this side again…but knowing in my heart that I would see you on the other side…and one of my favorite verses came up and I thought of you…and the journey you took.     I snapped a picture on the day you passed of the sunset…I was going to pick up my granddaughter and had not made the travels with your family as they tried to get to you but you decided to go on your own time…or actually God’s time…but I must say this moment when I was driving on that day…I could feel your peace.    I added to this picture the verse from Luke 1:79 as it seems so fitting of those last days...

I thank you for the lessons you taught me…for sharing some very Spirit filled moments that I will always remember.  What a journey Dean Pfeiff…and now you are at home with God!   I will see you on the other side…

Love,

Penny