Monday, December 19, 2011

Go rest more time

Today has been 10 years since I lost my Mom...December 18, 2001...and with that I think back on her as well as those that we lost this year!   I think it is extra hard at the holidays...and this being the first Christmas without Jay...We miss him so...

We went to the cemetery in Fowler and decorated my Mom and Dad's and Grandma Bessie's graves.   That is why my Grandma wanted buried there...was so someone would be around to take care of it...and when she died in was such a pretty cemetary...although the drought took it's toll.   My Mom always went over and so I try to keep the tradition going...I found a small wreath this year for Grandma's...but it just reminded me of her...she loved the reds and golds.   I found one similar in color for Mom and Dad's.   I actually am somewhat early for me this year...

Jimmie and Peggy Lance
Love you Mom and Dad

Grandma Bessie
Love to you as well...
While I do not believe that those I love are is where their body was layed to rest...while their soul has moved on...I take it as a time to remember and respect the lives of those that have went on...I stop and think how precious life is and we do not know how much time we have.

In wanting to take something to Jay's grave, I didn't find a wreath I wanted so came across some greenery and blue ribbon...and then it just seemed there was inspiration of things to add to his wreath.    While it had the American flags to honor him, it almost had some other items...just because they made me think of Jay...the fish bottle opener...the little goat...the angel bird...and various other things that either make one think of Jay or add some "Christmas" to it.  Perhaps it isn't a traditional or ordinary wreath...but Jay wasn't really a traditional or ordinary guy.   I miss getting to shop for him for was always I would find a crazy hat...something cammo...

Which takes me to this the shepherd and I went to Limon by way of Colorado Springs...We were going to meet up with Heather and since she was in Fort Collins we decided to do a little Christmas would it be a "coincidence"...when we headed for Sportsman's Warehouse...I think was probably one of Jay's favorite places to go shop in the Springs...but as we pulled in...came on the radio...Vince Gill...Go Rest High On That Mountain...My Mom loved Vince and this song was played at both her and Jay's Tim and I just sat in the truck holding hands...thinking of those we had lost...I am blessed to have such a caring man.

I really don't think it was a devotional in My Utmost For His Highest by Oswald Chambers this morning...was one of those that just had many parts that seemed to speak to me...granted not all things I chose to hear...but talked to me all the same...(like the complaining part!)


          And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God. 
It is only the loyal soul who believes that God engineers circumstances. We take such liberty with our circumstances, we do not believe God engineers them, although we say we do; we treat the things that happen as if they were engineered by men. To be faithful in every circumstance means that we have only one loyalty, and that is to our Lord. Suddenly God breaks up a particular set of circumstances, and the realization comes that we have been disloyal to Him by not recognizing that He had ordered them; we never saw what He was after, and that particular thing will never be repeated all the days of our life. The test of loyalty always comes just there. If we learn to worship God in the trying circumstances, He will alter them in two seconds when He chooses.

Loyalty to Jesus Christ is the thing that we "stick at" to-day. We will be loyal to work, to service, to anything, but do not ask us to be loyal to Jesus Christ. Many Christians are intensely impatient of talking about loyalty to Jesus. Our Lord is dethroned more emphatically by Christian workers than by the world. God is made a machine for blessing men, and Jesus Christ is made a Worker among workers.

The idea is not that we do work for God, but that we are so loyal to Him that He can do His work through us - "I reckon on you for extreme service, with no complaining on your part and no explanation on Mine." God wants to use us as He used His own Son.

Romans 8:28"

At my kitchen table this morning I had read the above...and so when I said that I didn't think it was a coincidence that Tim and I heard that song...and made us stop and think of those we love and miss so much...Like I said I loved finding Jay that special cammo something or other.   So in keeping with the tradition...I found Izzy some pretty cute pink cammo that I couldn't pass up!

This year I think I would like to start a tradition...for whoever wants to...that in Jay's stocking I pulled out and put by the fireplace with the others.   But I would like to put in it something for Izzy that either makes one think of her daddy...something he might give her...just something that helps her remember and know him more.   Although in Christmas shopping with her the other day...I felt she had lots of her daddy with us...but I will maybe write of that later because I can't give away what we shopped for!!!   But I put in a couple pics from the cemetary...granted these were taken at night...because we might have gotten there a little later...but it does have a cool flashing bow that lights up his picture from just last year at Christmas time...and one realizes that we do not know...

We miss and love you Jay Bird...

The greenery doesn't show up...but the picture of Jay does...

We think of you often Officer Jay you and miss you!

I found something the other day while on my wreath shopping that I had to brought tears...but it just seemed to symbolize how I think of Jay...there is this large penguin that seems to be hugging and looking over the snow globe and inside is another penguin holding a baby one.   I feel Jay's love watching over them both...I hope they feel it.   I also found a little snowman in police uniform that was either for their tree or the wreath....but seemed to need to go on their tree...Maybe I will get pictures of my tree...

And as I had said at the beginning...2011 was a tough year...we lost Curtis Ball a special friend...a special man...then we lost Jay Sheridan--my favorite son-in-law...and many others...and one that we are dealing with right now...Joe Petramala.   I think of his wife and son and feel for them for what they are going lose one they love.

I stop and think of Joe...a sheep guy...memories of him at the sheep shows...hauling sheep...and I can see that smile of his.  He was a special person...did he know?   I think of my son--how he enjoyed talking sheep with Joe.   I think of others who thought so much of him.  And we will miss you Joe and I pray for his family and those left behind for strength...for peace...

And so I end with the scripture I read today...a COINCIDENCE?   I think some more of that "engineering".   I am still reading in the "IANS".   Not sure if I mentioned...decided to go through and read in the New Testament the ones ending in I call them the IANS.   But today I had read the last part of 2 Corinthians 5:12-21...

Be Reconciled to God 

12 For we do not commend ourselves again to you, but give you opportunity to boast on our behalf, that you may have an answer for those who boast in appearance and not in heart. 13 For if we are beside ourselves, it is for God; or if we are of sound mind, it is for you. 14 For the love of Christ compels us, because we judge thus: that if One died for all, then all died; 15 and He died for all, that those who live should live no longer for themselves, but for Him who died for them and rose again.
16 Therefore, from now on, we regard no one according to the flesh. Even though we have known Christ according to the flesh, yet now we know Him thus no longer. 17 Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new. 18 Now all things are of God, who has reconciled us to Himself through Jesus Christ, and has given us the ministry of reconciliation, 19 that is, that God was in Christ reconciling the world to Himself, not imputing their trespasses to them, and has committed to us the word of reconciliation.
20 Now then, we are ambassadors for Christ, as though God were pleading through us: we implore you on Christ’s behalf, be reconciled to God. 21 For He made Him who knew no sin to be sin for us, that we might become the righteousness of God in Him.

But the one that seemed to stick with me that is one of the things that I look towards in being a Christian and believing...and especially at this time of year a reminder of my faith that through the birth and then death and resurrection of Jesus Christ that the following will come true...Revelations 21:4-5 

4 And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes; there shall be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying. There shall be no more pain, for the former things have passed away.”
5 Then He who sat on the throne said, “Behold, I make all things new.” And He said to me,
[b] “Write, for these words are true and faithful.” 

Another coincidence that I would come across these...and it seemed to speak to me..."Write, for these words are true and faithful."

So I pause and put up another memorial for those we have lost because their life was precious to me.   I stop and think of their family and friends, that they would reflect on being blessed that they had someone in their life who we do love and miss...

But I also stop and think of getting to eat dinner with friends in Limon...HAPPY BIRTHDAY AMY!    Happy Birthday to my Aunt Betty tomorrow...or perhaps it is today as I look at the time...and the clock has since passed I say...

Peace to all!  God be with you...


  1. We'll be thinking of and praying for you, Heather, Izzy and all of the family, during this Christmas season. Love you all.

  2. Beautifully and poignantly put, my good friend. We, too, are going through some rough times right now, as is everyone, I suspect. This was the best "Christmas" card I could have received. Thank you.