Oh Helen...

Sometimes "love" shows up in the funniest places!    So the other night...I was blessed...at the expense of another's pain...okay my daughter got in to the chiropractor for an adjustment...but bottom line...her and Miss Isabel were spending the night.   They also had our friend Tyler with them...who also had a doctor's appointment down here in our "metropolis".   ANYWAY back to my story...

I guess I need to start off a few nights ago when Izzy and her mama came and spent Saturday night with me while the boys were off buying sheep.   So while getting ready for bed...In case I haven't said before the Firecracker she is a busy one...yes "BIZZY IZZY"!    But in her "busyness"...she heads to one of the closet doors in her Mom's room (well her mom's room at my house...NO I haven't taken over these rooms...I want them for whenever my kids come!!  YES HEATHER THAT CHRISTMAS STUFF IN THE CLOSET IS ALL YOURS!! :)    Anyway she heads over and opens up the door...another new talent...my doors all have the pull down handles and so she pretty much has free access...okay off track...I'm focusing!   I'm focusing!  

Well out of this door falls this old doll that I had received as a keepsake from my GREAT Aunt Helen...yes GREAT needs to be used even if she wasn't my Grandma Bessie's sister!   Aunt Helen loved dolls and always had them around.   I remember as a child going back to Gridley, Kansas, and memories of Aunt Helen and dolls....One summer we made a doll bed out of a cigar box.   We painted a headboard gold as well as the bed.  It had lavendar with lace over layed bedspread and matching pillows.   The beauty of it was that you could store things inside the bed...perhaps it is Aunt Helen's fault that I am such a pack rat...THAT'S IT!! 



Look at them dance...
Firecracker and Helen!



So Izzy pulls out this doll and it is love at first sight.   Keep in mind that this doll is the old plastic type that is almost as big as Izzy.   She has some hair that shows she was a doll to be played with and not sat on a shelf somewhere.   She has the eyes that open when sitting up and close when she lays down...my kids think that this doll has weird eyes...BUT turns out IZZY and I don't see that!    So as she pulls her out I tell Izzy should we call her Helen to which she replies "yaaa!".    Well she proceeds to keep Helen with her...and nothing doing but Helen sleep with her and her mama!   

Now back to the last visit and Izzy she comes and there is her friend Helen...and she starts playing and carrying her around and they seem almost as though they are dancing.   And when it is time to go downstairs...well Helen needs to go.



While down in the living room...Izzy decides Helen needs a drink of her water.   Well Helen does not understand completely the whole drinking process and while Izzy is giving her a "pretend" drink she does not drink as well as she should and the water soaks her dress.   Although Miss Isabel tries to dry her off...Helen is pretty wet!   Well since I realize that Helen is coming out of the closet...I tell Izzy let's find her some jammies and we will wash her dress and panties (which may be a little loose...).   So we find a pink USA t-shirt for Helen and we continue playing.   However, Isabel being the little mother she is looks right at Helen when she sets her drink down and waves her hand at her glass and says "huh uh" warning Helen that she cannot be trusted with her drink!



So the evening goes on...and by this time the rest of the household has retired to bed and all that is left to roam the house is "Gramma Gramma Gramma", Firecracker, and Helen!    So with partiers like us (Firecracker has been referred to as "party like a rock star junior")...we do what any wild partiers would do...we head for the "bar"!   This would be the kitchen counter to some--but nothing doing Helen needed up on the stool....and her new friend needed to sit right next to her...this is when they began sharing their  MMMMM & MMMMM"s as Izzy calls them.    Helen also had to read a book, play cards, and then eventually go to bed with Firecracker!

Turns out Helen needed to go home
with Firecracker...they both are sitting
in her car seat!

So I tell this story on our family site and I add to the above story..."So funny because Izzy just loves Helen.   So after midnight and I think maybe a little firecracker is fizzling but she loves Helen...but I know a Helen we all love...so why wouldn't Isabel!!"

Well this story brings tears to Helen's daughter as well as granddaughter and so I tell them, "Well my kids had told me that this doll looked possessed....but I am thinking that Helen is filled with love :)   Because Izzy walked right over to that closet and Helen fell out and it was love at first sight.   We redressed Helen in her clean dress this morning and so cute how Izzy talks to her.   And how she waved her hand at her to tell her to stay away from the water...because you know Helen didn't hold on good when Izzy went to give her a drink...So Jody and Becki I am sure you had tears because Izzy and I were spending time with Helen...and I too was taken back to special days and playing dolls but came back quick so I can cherish these and tuck them in my heart!     Sometimes "love" pops up in an old wild haired baby with crazy eyes and baggy underwear...and Izzy like Helen...she don't care what she looks like she's a baby and she needs love!!  

And so I feel almost like I got a special visit from Aunt Helen...and in doing so some of my heritage is passed on to my granddaughter...my Aunt Helen was one of those that just LOVED.   She took in children that others thought might have not been her own...but she knew and they knew....they were hers!   Helen's granddaughter had said..."and just sitting here thinking about how Grandma Helen's dolls have made a special place in so many of our lives and so many generations and I have a feeling many more to come..."
And I think of a poem written by Helen's daughter, Jody Young...and the part I loved was the ripples in the water and how those that touch us in such a way of love...we pass on to others and it ripples and ripples...and I think of Aunt Helen's granddaughter's words...and think how I want my granddaughter to feel that for me and so...we "teach the children"!   We love you Helen...lyp

One of Helen's last dolls given to her...
but the gifts she gives us...
continue on....

Passing On

We beat our drums
and sang our songs
because it seemed to ease her passing
and
we didn’t know what else to do
except wash the frail body
  offer sustenance
  that was refused
    and listen desperately
    for any small desire.

Holding the silk soft hand
I saw in my mind a picture
  of her
standing in buckskin dress
on orange cliffs
  high above the earth
  her eagle feather held aloft
    a circuit to the sky
    and
for the first time
I knew truly who she was.

Another vision came:
those she loved and was loved by
  gathered round the death bed
  in concentric circles
    as far as my eye could see
her ripples in the water.

And in my head I heard
her whisper
  one last final lesson:
teach the children.

I feel her presence still
and see her standing tall
  and hear
  again:
teach the children.

6/10

So as many times I always have to add some music...and today was Van Morrison day I guess but this song just lets me think that those I have lost we will see on the....Bright Side of the Road by Van Morrison

lyp

A collection of Jody's poetry in her book "Frozen Moments that are now" can be purchased at https://www.createspace.com/3526242

How you doing...

So funny how I have subjects that just keep coming up!   I have been working on another blog and it keeps disappearing so I will shelf it...because this keeps pressing me!  I had talked to my daughter a while back and said, "How are you?"   I was just getting her take on it because I get asked quite often and would answer others but HOW ARE WE REALLY!!     Her answer was so true..."It depends on the day, the minute, what you are doing."   So that was probably the start because many caring people ask how you are doing.

I was then talking to my friend who just lost her husband and we talked about how people ask how you are and she said they want you to say fine...good.   And isn't that true...we want others to be good to be fine and are we ready if they are not?   Do we want to know that their heart hurts?   That they are having a down day?   Fine is probably easier to deal with.

But then this morning I was watching the Today show.   There was a woman on there that had lost her husband, mother-in-law, and child all shot by her father-in-law.   She survived but was paralyzed along with her unborn child survived.    So a well meaning Meredith says, "How are you doing?"  "Physically...emotionally."   And I am thinking here this is an interview being seen by others...what will this woman say.   I am amazed she can even function.   And this woman talks of how her and her mom would joke about it (it had been I think about two years) but she was honest and said she was not fine and kind of went into some of the issues that she had...

So I drop my husband off to take his Mom to the doctor because "Mom" just had knee surgery and "Dad" is not feeling too good.   With this thought on my mind I say, "How are you?"   To which I get an answer from Mom and then she says they woke up this morning and asked each other how they were doing...to which they both said, "FINE"!    I laughed and said then what does FINE really mean!   

I then decided to do some research (it really was sincere I did want to know but also research!) and I would put on my Facebook and the Family site only "HOW ARE YOU?"   I got a few replies.  I did love the "fantaboulous"...I need some of that Kristin!  But I also loved the ones who told me exactly how they were feeling.   That they knew me well enough that they knew I could handle if they weren't great!   I asked my friend who had been out sick and I have been friends long enough that I can see in her eyes how she is feeling...but I said HOW ARE YOU?    And she told me how she really was.   That's what we should be able to do with others...those we love! 

I later asked our student how she was and in a tired voice said good.   I told her that she wasn't very convincing ;)   And now I am trying to remember the word she gave me...it made me smile!   I later chatted with another who told me they were "alright"...and then gave me a positive thing of their day.

And I know you can't get caught in the negative but it's okay if you are not always fine and you don't have to say you are fine...sometimes for the sake of time or the barriers we put up we simply say I'm good!    But I love it when you ask someone how they are and they truly are good and you really didn't need to ask by that big old smile on their face!    Yes for the sake of time...we do not always take the time to see how others are...but you know sometimes you don't have to really ask...just look in their eyes...and I thought I need to make sure when I ask that...I REALLY want to know!     And sometimes you don't need to ask...you know...just put your arm around them and let them know you love them!

Izzy and Otis...Doing GooD!

 
So for those of you that want to know how I am...that could take a while for me to think about but you know I am thankful for so much...my Faith, my friends, and my family...and you know what I am really thankful for...It is my Firecracker Flex Friday this week!   I get to go hang out with Izzy and her mama!    And three days off!   So like my daughter said it just kind of depends...but when you are hanging with a Firecracker...you just gotta smile!!!

lyp