So I write in my journal at my kitchen table:
December 18, 2010 8:00 a.m. Saturday...This date is a sad date--the day my Mom died. I do miss her and there are lots of--"wish I had been betters"-but I know my Mom loved me and I loved her. I wish her and Dad could have seen their grandkids grow. And I stop and fix my tea and the boys some cinnamon raisin toast and the song "Let me watch my children grow and see what they become and as I ___(this would be where I just hum because I forgot the words)__ till I'm too old to die young." But I realize that when it is my time, it is my time. I know that when I go I will go to a better place and you know--I feel those that have gone on before--know what their children and grandchildren BECOME--and how do you "BECOME"? Do we ever even stop "coming" and just BECOME!
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| My Mom (Peggy) and Grandma (Bessie) Jammin... |
And I decide that I will just share this...and so I go in to the computer and as most of you know I LOVE music and I am sure I got this gift from my Mom (and my Dad). But my Mom so loved music. And so I think of this picture I will post that I had just came across because it is one where my Mom and my Grandma Bessie are sharing music at Christmas time. So back to loving music...I decide to turn on some music...while I listen to country I often am more of a rocker BUT you know like how I am with life....I just ride my bike and really do love almost every kind of music if it is something that touches your heart...or you know like in the American Bandstand days....has a good beat and easy to dance to!
And back to my story....(do you all get tired as we circle and circle and sometimes get to the point....sometimes not.) I am sitting in my living room with the Christmas tree glowing and there by my fireplace I have a picture of my Dad and a note he wrote to say goodbye. And then there is a picture of Mom. It is a picture from her younger days but she loved the picture and had given it to her folks and now I have it and love it too. She just is so beautiful in that picture and I love the frame that it is in. SO it is chosen to be there on the fireplace along with the stockings and the Nativity Scene.
I turn on the tv to head for the music channels. And I pause at the Christmas songs...but am nudged to continue on and all of a sudden there I am at "Honky Tonk Tavern" (and yes you that know my Mom's music are not surprised by this stop) and there is playing probably one of my favoritest songs "IT'S A GREAT DAY TO BE ALIVE" by Travis Tritt and it just makes me smile as there are Jim and Peg smiling at me and saying it is great to be alive!!! But it doesn't stop there...I keep it on there and up comes probably one of my Mom's favorite singers Vince Gill and Patty Loveless. SO I pause it on there using all of my DVR skills and abilities because I want to mark the song and play it when I come to this part. Well it is I think "The Key" and it is a sadder song but when I hit play to start it playing again...GREAT DAY TO BE ALIVE starts playing! And I smile and say yes it is. Not a day for sadness!
So I am not mourning today but am thankful that I had my Mom and Dad as long as I did. And I have had different people tell me how they miss my folks and I think...you know that is something special to have as part of your legacy...that you are missed.
I have a picture of my Mom and a friend of hers in her later years...high fiving and I smile as that is one of the pictures in my heart...HIGH FIVING LIFE!
As I am finishing this up Ray Price breaks out singing ain't it "FUNNY HOW TIME SLIPS AWAY". And he says "Gotta go now...hope to see you round"...You know you just gotta love MUSIC!
lyp
I wish I had known them. You were so lucky to have had them as parents.
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