Thank you for being a friend...

READY OR NOT THIS ONE IS GOING OUT THERE....way longer than usual so I send it off...

Yesterday (okay a few more days have passed) with my FIRECRACKER FLEX FRIDAY...inspired me to pull this one off the shelf...and since it talks of Spring....and we have passed Memorial Day I pull it off the shelf to finish up.   I have since found out that this was during a blogger time that it was doing weird things with blogs...but still think maybe it was supposed to wait...but felt the need to pull it back off so here we go...hang on because I think this could be quite the "bike ride" with a few sharp turns...

The last week or so the theme I seem to be hearing is GIVE THANKS!  I had an e-mail that I received that said the following (I put the picture in just cause...)

This really made me think about how I seem to always come to God usually asking and not taking time for thanking...you know if we really stop and think we all have things to be so thankful for!   And among those I give thanks for is friends (this includes my family because they are after all some of my bestest friends)...

At my kitchen table there sits a whole stack of thank you cards that have not been written.   Not that I am not thankful...but back to the PROcrastinator.   I had worked on taxes and knew friends were more forgiving than the IRS.   Then I was sick and so I didn't.   And I look back at an old blog I had started titled Why Do We?   This was "pre" March 9, 2011 but it was after losing a very special man just a week before.   And I had asked why wasn't I there more for others and maybe I will finish that one up because as I have done there is a whole list of excuses.   BUT today at my kitchen table I have to share my devotionals...and other lessons I am learning.

This week I was looking out my kitchen window and there was the big old cottonwood with leaves and I thought when did that happen!   When I wasn't looking Spring came.   And it just put a song in my heart that there was green coming.   So this morning when the God Calling (Two Listeners) said the following, it made me smile:  (so this date might give away my timeline!)

"April 30 - Springtime

Rejoice in the Springtime of the year. Let there be Springtime in your hearts. The full time of fruit is not yet but there is the promise of the blossom.

Know surely that your lives too are full of glad promise. Such blessings are to be yours. Such joys, such wonders.

All is indeed well. Live in My Sunshine and My Love."

"Promise of the blossom"!   I love that.   I feel so for those that are going through such awful disasters, for those that also are suffering loss.   But there is the promise of the blossom!    And as I write this a song comes on by Addison Road..."This Little Light of Mine".   It is taken from one that we have all known as children but these words are very special to me.   Music seems to heal me and so I share the words and you can click on the link to hear for yourself!  This Little Light of Mine

There's a little flame inside a soul

Some shine bright

Some shine small

The rains will come

And the waters rise
But don't you ever lose your light

In this life you will know

Love and pain

Joy and sorrow

So when it hurts

When times get hard

Don't forget who's child you are

This little light of mine

I'm gonna let it shine

This little light of mine

I'm Gonna let it shine

Gonna let it shine

May you live each day

With no regret

Make the most of every chance you get

And your eyes get wide

When you look at the stars

With the same sense of wonder as a child's heart

With the ones you love

Treasure the time

And for those who are gone

Keep the memories alive

Hold on to your dreams

Don't ever let go

There's a fire inside you

Burning with hope

This little light of mine

I'm gonna let it shine

This little light of mine
I'm gonna let it shine

Gonna let it shine

There will be days when you wanna give up

When clouds settle in

But after the rain comes the sun

Don't you ever forget

Don't forget

Don't, don't forget

One day there will be no more pain
And we will finally see Jesus' face
So until then I'm gonna try

To brave the dark

And let my little light shine

This little light of mine

I'm gonna let it shine

This little light of mine
I'm gonna let it shine
Gonna let it shine

This little light of mine

I'm gonna let it shine

This little light of mine

I'm gonna let it shine

Gonna let it shine

Oh, shine

Gonna let it shine

There's a little light inside us all

Which this brings me to my next devotional from My Utmost For His Highest by Oswald Chambers...(And I had written this whole blog and thought it was saved and had a glitch and so I start over and wonder if I will remember what I put before but...I am giving thanks all the same...)

"THE SPONTANEITY OF LOVE

The springs of love are in God, not in us. It is absurd to look for the love of God in our hearts naturally, it is only there when it has been shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Spirit.

"Love suffereth long, and is kind . . ." 1 Corinthians 13:4-8

If we try to prove to God how much we love Him, it is a sure sign that we do not love Him. The evidence of our love for Him is the absolute spontaneity of our love, it comes naturally. In looking back we cannot tell why we did certain things, we did them according to the spontaneous nature of His love in us. The life of God manifests itself in this spontaneous way because the springs of love are in the Holy Ghost. (Romans 5:5.)

And this brings me back to what I had started writing about.   And so I have a link that you can start playing and listen to while you read (I love the Golden Girls!)   Thank you for being a friend

On March 9, 2011 when we got "the phone call"...we did not think about packing bags, we did not think that we would be gone for days.   All we thought about was how quick can we get to our child!   And so we hopped in the truck and headed north!    So when it came time when we thought we should go to bed...we borrowed sleepwear from Heather and then we all laid down...not really sure we slept.

Then came the next day and the reality that we only had the shirts on our back and the jeans on our butts...I joked with some about not holding it against me for being the smelly kid!   I talked about this with Pam, Wes, and Diana...some of those that were there with a spontaneous love...I have been getting lessons from different places about the "washing of feet".    You know where it talks in the Bible in John 13 of Jesus washing the disciples feet the night before he died.   And I think of my cousin's wife going through a learning lesson with her children where they washed each other's feet before Easter.   A way to share this story, that her kids will remember.   I think of my friend talking at her church how they wash each other's feet and how the man came up right behind her and she felt that he was trying to "cut in line ahead of her"...He then told her that his bride to be was ahead and he wanted to be by her because they wanted to wash each other's feet.  And of course in reading the Easter story I read in John 13:12-17 (NIV) where it says...

¹² When he had finished washing their feet, he put on his clothes and returned to his place. “Do you understand what I have done for you?” he asked them. ¹³ “You call me ‘Teacher’ and ‘Lord,’ and rightly so, for that is what I am. ¹⁴ Now that I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also should wash one another’s feet. ¹⁵ I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you. ¹⁶ Very truly I tell you, no servant is greater than his master, nor is a messenger greater than the one who sent him. ¹⁷ Now that you know these things, you will be blessed if you do them.

So back to my story...on not having clothes and so before long here shows up Diana with "bags" and within these bags, I like to refer to as my Love Suit...these "angels" knew that we did not have clothes and so just went and got us each some sweats, socks, unders, tooth brush, and just so many things that just touched my heart deeper than they may ever know.   Just an illustration of washing feet...this was only a small part of what these special friends did...even Wes you just being willing to eat when I needed to feed someone!   Taking Otis to the groomer...running errands...but I think I know where these learned it as their dad was right there and continues to be there when you need him (thanks Gordon).

Just the times that so many have "washed feet" with no other reason than just because...I think of a friend, Tyler, and how he just came and helped Heather clean house or help with whatever...just because....I think of Patrick who was there for his friend Lance not just during the times when the pain was new....but then weeks after just came and helped him with sheep...probably not on  his top ten list of things to do...but just because...and I think FRIENDS!   I think of the friends that were and still there for me...Mary you are an angel sent for sure!   There are so many that are just there..."washing feet"!   I think of during the funeral time and my brother and his family just being there...Shane, my brother, driving us around....Jo, his wife--my sister, mopping the floors, serving food, covering the fort.   Denise running a shuttle service from the airport...sharing her voice.   Sandy and family being there....babysitting....All the food brought in....all those who gave and continue to give gifts of money, love, and prayer!  Then I can't even touch the Chief and his family...the Yowell's are an amazing bunch!    It is overwhelming but reminds me that there is so much to be thankful for and that there are some special people out there!  And inspires me to the kind of person I want to be.   There are many other instances but these are the snapshots that come to mind...



Misty, Patrick and Lance and Patrick and Lance...my kids!



Which this brings me back to how yesterday and so many yesterdays have lead up to this blog.    I got to have lunch with Pam and her precious Gabe and Kara as well as with Izzy and her mama and P-pa!   And my heart hurts for Pam and Wes and their loss but even though they have their own "stuff", they continue to be special friends...doing chores...and being friends.  



But then Friday night Amy, Jake, and Andy (more friends of Jay and Heather's) that just showed up and played t-ball with Izzy...Yes Jake I believe real men aren't afraid to use pink bats...(even if you dance sitting down!)  Then out to dinner at Jenny's the local Mexican food establishment in Limon and there was Gordon (another special friend and Pam's dad), Andy, Jake, Amy C., Tyler, and I think of how I heard the other day this preacher talking about how we should try to live so that even when you die your life still carries on...and I think how Jay would have loved this gathering...time with friends and how he was still there with us...conversation of "Jay's wedding" made me smile and happy memories that we still have!

But I think about how friends...are sometimes those that are there for a short season, for a day, a minute, or for much longer.   And friends aren't just those that do for you...but some that you just enjoy being around and bring joy to your life, those who might just come and "be" with you, I think deeper on what a friend is.   There was a saying if you want to have a friend...be a friend! 

  

It is funny how this blog has taken on a life of its own...how each time I come parts are removed, things cannot be added, fonts are changed.   And so I wondered if it was something I shouldn't share...it didn't really seem controversial...but as I sat at my kitchen table I again asked if I should not redo and finish...okay so my devotion after I had just asked that was the following:

Delay Is Not Denial

Read the lessons of Divine control in Nature's laws.

Nature is but the expression of Eternal Thought in Time. Study the outward form - grasp the Eternal Thought, and if you can read the thoughts of the Father, then indeed you know Him.

Leave Me out of nothing. Love all My ways with you. Know indeed that "All is well."  Delay is but the wonderful and all-loving restraint of your Father - not reluctance, not desire to deny - but the Divine control of a Father who can scarcely brook the delay.

Delay has to be - sometimes.  Your lives are so linked up with those of others, so bound by circumstances that to let your desire have instant fulfillment might in many cases cause another, as earnest prayer, to go unanswered.

But think for a moment of the Love and thoughtful care that seek to harmonize and reconcile all your desires and longings and prayers.

Delay is not denial - not even withholding. It is the opportunity for God to work out your problems and accomplish your desires in the most wonderful way possible for you.

Oh! children, trust Me. Remember that your Maker is also your Servant, quick to fulfill, quick to achieve, faithful in accomplishment.  Yes.  All is well.

For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than
 your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts.  Isaiah 55:9

And so I sit there and laugh out loud thinking how not only in writing a blog but in so many things we do (even writing thank you's)...that it is not always on our time or even in our plan or understanding.   So I smile and say Thank You God for being a FRIEND!!!   And while a lot of this was written quite some time back it still has just been growing and so I leave with the scripture I was given today...2 Corinthians 9 in my study Bible 6-14 says:

The Cheerful Giver

   ⁶ But this I say: He who sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and he who sows bountifully will also reap bountifully. ⁷ So let each one give as he purposes in his heart, not grudgingly or of necessity; for God loves a cheerful giver. ⁸ And God is able to make all grace abound toward you, that you, always having all sufficiency in all things, may have an abundance for every good work. ⁹ As it is written:

      “ He has dispersed abroad,
      He has given to the poor;
      His righteousness endures forever.”<sup>[a]

10</sup> Now may^[b] He who supplies seed to the sower, and bread for food, supply and multiply the seed you have sown and increase the fruits of your righteousness, ¹¹ while you are enriched in everything for all liberality, which causes thanksgiving through us to God. ¹² For the administration of this service not only supplies the needs of the saints, but also is abounding through many thanksgivings to God, ¹³ while, through the proof of this ministry, they glorify God for the obedience of your confession to the gospel of Christ, and for your liberal sharing with them and all men, ¹⁴ and by their prayer for you, who long for you because of the exceeding grace of God in you. ¹⁵ Thanks be to God for His indescribable gift!

Yes thanks be to God....but also to special angels right here!  lyp

Oh Helen...

Sometimes "love" shows up in the funniest places!    So the other night...I was blessed...at the expense of another's pain...okay my daughter got in to the chiropractor for an adjustment...but bottom line...her and Miss Isabel were spending the night.   They also had our friend Tyler with them...who also had a doctor's appointment down here in our "metropolis".   ANYWAY back to my story...

I guess I need to start off a few nights ago when Izzy and her mama came and spent Saturday night with me while the boys were off buying sheep.   So while getting ready for bed...In case I haven't said before the Firecracker she is a busy one...yes "BIZZY IZZY"!    But in her "busyness"...she heads to one of the closet doors in her Mom's room (well her mom's room at my house...NO I haven't taken over these rooms...I want them for whenever my kids come!!  YES HEATHER THAT CHRISTMAS STUFF IN THE CLOSET IS ALL YOURS!! :)    Anyway she heads over and opens up the door...another new talent...my doors all have the pull down handles and so she pretty much has free access...okay off track...I'm focusing!   I'm focusing!  

Well out of this door falls this old doll that I had received as a keepsake from my GREAT Aunt Helen...yes GREAT needs to be used even if she wasn't my Grandma Bessie's sister!   Aunt Helen loved dolls and always had them around.   I remember as a child going back to Gridley, Kansas, and memories of Aunt Helen and dolls....One summer we made a doll bed out of a cigar box.   We painted a headboard gold as well as the bed.  It had lavendar with lace over layed bedspread and matching pillows.   The beauty of it was that you could store things inside the bed...perhaps it is Aunt Helen's fault that I am such a pack rat...THAT'S IT!! 



Look at them dance...
Firecracker and Helen!



So Izzy pulls out this doll and it is love at first sight.   Keep in mind that this doll is the old plastic type that is almost as big as Izzy.   She has some hair that shows she was a doll to be played with and not sat on a shelf somewhere.   She has the eyes that open when sitting up and close when she lays down...my kids think that this doll has weird eyes...BUT turns out IZZY and I don't see that!    So as she pulls her out I tell Izzy should we call her Helen to which she replies "yaaa!".    Well she proceeds to keep Helen with her...and nothing doing but Helen sleep with her and her mama!   

Now back to the last visit and Izzy she comes and there is her friend Helen...and she starts playing and carrying her around and they seem almost as though they are dancing.   And when it is time to go downstairs...well Helen needs to go.



While down in the living room...Izzy decides Helen needs a drink of her water.   Well Helen does not understand completely the whole drinking process and while Izzy is giving her a "pretend" drink she does not drink as well as she should and the water soaks her dress.   Although Miss Isabel tries to dry her off...Helen is pretty wet!   Well since I realize that Helen is coming out of the closet...I tell Izzy let's find her some jammies and we will wash her dress and panties (which may be a little loose...).   So we find a pink USA t-shirt for Helen and we continue playing.   However, Isabel being the little mother she is looks right at Helen when she sets her drink down and waves her hand at her glass and says "huh uh" warning Helen that she cannot be trusted with her drink!



So the evening goes on...and by this time the rest of the household has retired to bed and all that is left to roam the house is "Gramma Gramma Gramma", Firecracker, and Helen!    So with partiers like us (Firecracker has been referred to as "party like a rock star junior")...we do what any wild partiers would do...we head for the "bar"!   This would be the kitchen counter to some--but nothing doing Helen needed up on the stool....and her new friend needed to sit right next to her...this is when they began sharing their  MMMMM & MMMMM"s as Izzy calls them.    Helen also had to read a book, play cards, and then eventually go to bed with Firecracker!

Turns out Helen needed to go home
with Firecracker...they both are sitting
in her car seat!

So I tell this story on our family site and I add to the above story..."So funny because Izzy just loves Helen.   So after midnight and I think maybe a little firecracker is fizzling but she loves Helen...but I know a Helen we all love...so why wouldn't Isabel!!"

Well this story brings tears to Helen's daughter as well as granddaughter and so I tell them, "Well my kids had told me that this doll looked possessed....but I am thinking that Helen is filled with love :)   Because Izzy walked right over to that closet and Helen fell out and it was love at first sight.   We redressed Helen in her clean dress this morning and so cute how Izzy talks to her.   And how she waved her hand at her to tell her to stay away from the water...because you know Helen didn't hold on good when Izzy went to give her a drink...So Jody and Becki I am sure you had tears because Izzy and I were spending time with Helen...and I too was taken back to special days and playing dolls but came back quick so I can cherish these and tuck them in my heart!     Sometimes "love" pops up in an old wild haired baby with crazy eyes and baggy underwear...and Izzy like Helen...she don't care what she looks like she's a baby and she needs love!!  

And so I feel almost like I got a special visit from Aunt Helen...and in doing so some of my heritage is passed on to my granddaughter...my Aunt Helen was one of those that just LOVED.   She took in children that others thought might have not been her own...but she knew and they knew....they were hers!   Helen's granddaughter had said..."and just sitting here thinking about how Grandma Helen's dolls have made a special place in so many of our lives and so many generations and I have a feeling many more to come..."
And I think of a poem written by Helen's daughter, Jody Young...and the part I loved was the ripples in the water and how those that touch us in such a way of love...we pass on to others and it ripples and ripples...and I think of Aunt Helen's granddaughter's words...and think how I want my granddaughter to feel that for me and so...we "teach the children"!   We love you Helen...lyp

One of Helen's last dolls given to her...
but the gifts she gives us...
continue on....

Passing On

We beat our drums
and sang our songs
because it seemed to ease her passing
and
we didn’t know what else to do
except wash the frail body
  offer sustenance
  that was refused
    and listen desperately
    for any small desire.

Holding the silk soft hand
I saw in my mind a picture
  of her
standing in buckskin dress
on orange cliffs
  high above the earth
  her eagle feather held aloft
    a circuit to the sky
    and
for the first time
I knew truly who she was.

Another vision came:
those she loved and was loved by
  gathered round the death bed
  in concentric circles
    as far as my eye could see
her ripples in the water.

And in my head I heard
her whisper
  one last final lesson:
teach the children.

I feel her presence still
and see her standing tall
  and hear
  again:
teach the children.

6/10

So as many times I always have to add some music...and today was Van Morrison day I guess but this song just lets me think that those I have lost we will see on the....Bright Side of the Road by Van Morrison

lyp

A collection of Jody's poetry in her book "Frozen Moments that are now" can be purchased at https://www.createspace.com/3526242

How you doing...

So funny how I have subjects that just keep coming up!   I have been working on another blog and it keeps disappearing so I will shelf it...because this keeps pressing me!  I had talked to my daughter a while back and said, "How are you?"   I was just getting her take on it because I get asked quite often and would answer others but HOW ARE WE REALLY!!     Her answer was so true..."It depends on the day, the minute, what you are doing."   So that was probably the start because many caring people ask how you are doing.

I was then talking to my friend who just lost her husband and we talked about how people ask how you are and she said they want you to say fine...good.   And isn't that true...we want others to be good to be fine and are we ready if they are not?   Do we want to know that their heart hurts?   That they are having a down day?   Fine is probably easier to deal with.

But then this morning I was watching the Today show.   There was a woman on there that had lost her husband, mother-in-law, and child all shot by her father-in-law.   She survived but was paralyzed along with her unborn child survived.    So a well meaning Meredith says, "How are you doing?"  "Physically...emotionally."   And I am thinking here this is an interview being seen by others...what will this woman say.   I am amazed she can even function.   And this woman talks of how her and her mom would joke about it (it had been I think about two years) but she was honest and said she was not fine and kind of went into some of the issues that she had...

So I drop my husband off to take his Mom to the doctor because "Mom" just had knee surgery and "Dad" is not feeling too good.   With this thought on my mind I say, "How are you?"   To which I get an answer from Mom and then she says they woke up this morning and asked each other how they were doing...to which they both said, "FINE"!    I laughed and said then what does FINE really mean!   

I then decided to do some research (it really was sincere I did want to know but also research!) and I would put on my Facebook and the Family site only "HOW ARE YOU?"   I got a few replies.  I did love the "fantaboulous"...I need some of that Kristin!  But I also loved the ones who told me exactly how they were feeling.   That they knew me well enough that they knew I could handle if they weren't great!   I asked my friend who had been out sick and I have been friends long enough that I can see in her eyes how she is feeling...but I said HOW ARE YOU?    And she told me how she really was.   That's what we should be able to do with others...those we love! 

I later asked our student how she was and in a tired voice said good.   I told her that she wasn't very convincing ;)   And now I am trying to remember the word she gave me...it made me smile!   I later chatted with another who told me they were "alright"...and then gave me a positive thing of their day.

And I know you can't get caught in the negative but it's okay if you are not always fine and you don't have to say you are fine...sometimes for the sake of time or the barriers we put up we simply say I'm good!    But I love it when you ask someone how they are and they truly are good and you really didn't need to ask by that big old smile on their face!    Yes for the sake of time...we do not always take the time to see how others are...but you know sometimes you don't have to really ask...just look in their eyes...and I thought I need to make sure when I ask that...I REALLY want to know!     And sometimes you don't need to ask...you know...just put your arm around them and let them know you love them!

Izzy and Otis...Doing GooD!

 
So for those of you that want to know how I am...that could take a while for me to think about but you know I am thankful for so much...my Faith, my friends, and my family...and you know what I am really thankful for...It is my Firecracker Flex Friday this week!   I get to go hang out with Izzy and her mama!    And three days off!   So like my daughter said it just kind of depends...but when you are hanging with a Firecracker...you just gotta smile!!!

lyp

PROJECT JOY UNDERWAY

Mason and Peyton Wilson...now does that say springtime and Joy or what!

So there is a new project that is being worked on in my life right now...That would be Project Joy!

The other day as I was driving to work...at a later time than should be....BUT ANYWAY this preacher was on the radio...he was one of those that just wants to make you jump up and say Amen!   Anyway he was just PREACHING it you might say.   But he talked of how the devil steals things from us...and he said don't let him steal your JOY!  With all that is going on in my life and those I love...I don't think it a coincidence I heard these words and I think they were meant to share!  With Easter coming we should all be Joyful!

So that is my prayer for all of you today!   JOY!  God Bless You and I love you!

Rejoice in the Lord always [delight, gladden yourselves in Him]; again I say, Rejoice! Philippians 4:4

lyp

Woo Hoo!

Yes that would be me shouting relief that I have finished my taxes!   I am not going to lie I am thankful for the extra days...for those of you that do not know why, it is Emancipation Day in Washington D.C.    Therefore, I got a couple extra days.   As most of you know...I am a PROcrastinator....I am no rookie to this crastinating stuff!!!   

However, I am wanting to work on this organization stuff.   I really need to get my "house" (house being me, my actual house, and any other houses I might have) in order.   The other day in my "God Calling" devotion it spoke of calm...but it also said:

"Pray about all, but concentrate on a few things until those are accomplished.  I am watching over you.  Strength for your daily, hourly task is provided."

How did they know that I don't focus well!   But then the NEXT day I also read in My Utmost For His Highest by Oswald Chambers...and some may say that we don't hear things in so many ways...sometimes things we aren't all that hip on hearing...so anyway it says...

"If in a prayer meeting God has shown you something to do, don't say--'I'll do it'; 'do it!   Take yourself by the scruff of the neck and shake off your incarnate laziness."

Needless to say...my taxes have been being used as an excuse not to get other things done!    So now I have this one out of the way and so...time to get busy.   I have some writing I want to do.   On my heart right now is a special book..."tell me...ABOUT MY DADDY".     I am hoping to get stories from others to include in it.  But it is one I want to work on and am excited to get going on it!   So if you have any stories...I would love to have them.   Stories of laughter, stories of love, stories of anything that would be something for a little girl to know more about her daddy.  

So I spent extra time at my kitchen table this morning...seemed to have lots to catch up on or just time there...but was interesting because I came to Psalm 92:13-15 and so I wrote it down...later I was looking at old journal entries and sometimes I look back to a year ago...Okay I had put 92:13-15 among others...but I had been lead to this a year ago to the day and also today....do you think I am supposed to take something from it.   But in my Living Bible it reads:

"For they are transplanted into the Lord's own garden, and are under His personal care.  Even in old age they will still produce fruit and be vital and green.  This honors the Lord, and exhibits His faithful care.  He is my shelter.  There is nothing but goodness in Him!"

But what I take from this is "producing fruit and being vital and green in old age"...maybe I am feeling a little old!   But perhaps the feeling of vital and green appeals to me so much this time of year!   I think there are things that I need to be doing and so I think of getting myself by the scruff of the neck and getting to it!   So I have this need that there are things I need to do and yes some things I want to do...and I have been reminded all too well that we really do not know how much time we have!   Another thing I came across this morning was from an older writing but it was James 4:14:

"How do you know what is going to happen tomorrow?  For the length of your lives is as uncertain as the morning fog--now you see it , soon it is gone."

So I am not trying to focus on so many WHY's?   That can take up a lot of time...time I may or may not have...so instead I am trying to figure out more important things...NO not why do I have to figure taxes!!   Again that's a WHY...I know it is a glitch in my make up!   I have been told by some that I ask way too many questions!!!

It appears that this has been quite the bike ride.  (If you are new to my blogging...I refer to my lack of focus as bike riding...there's a joke that goes with it).    I might have been rambling a tad the other day and I said no really I'm not on sinus medicine.   But my cousin Vonnie tells me that "sinus medicine for me is like putting a turbo on my bike."   Probably another good reason for me to stay away from artificial stimulants!!  But hoping to get over whatever this is but seems to be a lot of people dealing with it.   The "shepherd" and I just hung out today and covered the bare necessities...watched a movie and just coughed together...

My kids were taking in the big city of Fort Collins...hope they all had a good time.   I had told Lance to be safe and have fun but not too much fun and he starts quoting a song about can't have too much fun.   And so that was my hope for them all...I think they were due a little time having TOO MUCH FUN!!

Soooo I guess I will sign off and thanks for going on the bike ride with me!   Really I am going to get busy...quit putting off things....just as soon as....so yeah maybe I am a little nuts...but speaking of nuts...I have this picture from the other day hanging out with Firecracker...was so cute watching her study this squirrel...wanna ride a bike...

So have a great week all of you...and here's to hoping we make the most of it...whatever the most might be!!  And you know I say why don't you just plan in your schedules some time for "TOO MUCH FUN!"

TTFN

lyp



More...More

That's what Firecracker has said for a long time and before she could get the words out her Aunt Autumn had showed her sign language for More More...And so when one is under the influence of blooming elm trees, and whatever else is out there, winds, and the parts of spring I forget about until the new year comes around...and add some meds...please excuse the parts of this that makes no sense at all!   (hush some of you--I know what you are thinking!!)

Anyway this past weekend was a good one.   My kids came home Friday night after P-Pa and I had got to hang with Izzy.   I had a meeting and so left for part of it...but P-Pa and the Iz did just fine.  Only 3 pants changes...they had to feed goats...water flowers...and then take a big long nap.

P-Pa and Firecracker...off to take care of the goats...but the song later makes me think of their hands...

And I had thought this would be about something completely different from what it seems to be taking on...so the other one will have to come at another time...

So like I said I am not feeling so hot today...and I take a break from here and go into my kitchen table.   I read the devotions and take pieces from them.   God Calling by Two Listeners and edited by A.J. Russell which I have mentioned before is words that two women listeners seem to take as hearing from God...but I find comfort when it says:

April 12 - Golden Opportunity

I am your Guide. Strength and help will come to you; just trust Me wholly.

Fear not. I am evermore ready to hear than you to ask. Walk in My ways, and know that help will come.

Man's need is God's chance to help. I love to help and save. Man's need is God's golden opportunity for him of letting his faith find expression. That expression of faith is all that God needs to manifest His Power. Faith is the Key that unlocks the storehouse of God's resources.

My faithful servants, you long for perfection and see your bitter failures. I see faithfulness, and as a mother takes the soiled, imperfect work of her child and invests it with perfection because of the sweet love, so I take your poor faithfulness and crown it with perfection.

"Now unto him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we
ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us." Ephesians 3:20

And I write...Let my faith find expression.  Help me to find my faith!   So I go to "My Utmost" devotional and it talks of "We have to keep letting go and slowly and surely the great full life of God will invade us in every part."   But it has a scripture from Romans vi.9-11.   I love how he references using Roman numerals...those of you that are after the Roman numeral age...that is vi=6.  But it says:

"Death hath no more dominion over Him...in that He liveth, He liveth unto God.   Likewise reckon ye also yourselves to be dead indeed unto sin, but alive unto God."

So I feel called to go to Romans...and I open my Living Bible to Romans 8 that seems to have plenty underlined.  But first I see in Romans 8:23:

"We, too, wait anxiously for that day when God will give us our full rights as His children, including the new bodies He has promised us--bodies that will never be sick again and will never die."

I don't know about you but today the way I am feeling I think can I get an AMEN on that one!!   I just keep searching for the Why's?   The What should I?   Anything that will give me answers...and I seem to find MORE MORE...Right above this says in Romans 8:18-21:

"Yet what we suffer now is nothing compared to the glory He will give us later.   For all creation is waiting patiently and hopefully for that future day when God will resurrect His children.  For on that day thorns and thistles, sin, death, and decay--the things that overcame the world against its will at God's command--will all disappear, and the world around us will share in the glorious freedom from sin which God's children enjoy."

I have such a visual with that...perhaps being in an area that is now filled with thistles that these winds keep blowing...and that one alone gives me hope for a new day not even considering the thistles, sin, death, and decay part!   And I breathe in these words and cling to them in hope.   But as always there is MORE for me so I read on to the part that is underlined.   And this one speaks to me as it has so many times before and I am sure it will speak to many others!  Romans 8:26-28:

"And in the same way--by our faith--the Holy Spirit helps us with our daily problems in our praying.  For we don't even know what we should pray for, nor how to pray as we should; but the Holy Spirit prays for us with such feeling that it cannot be expressed in words.  And the Father who knows all hearts knows of course, what the Spirit is saying as he pleads for us in harmony with God's own will.  And we know that all that happens to us is working for our good if we love God and are fitting into His plans."

 And you know me...of course I question as I see GOOD.  I wonder how can good happen but it doesn't say that all that happens is good...but I still struggle with this and so read on...but while I am writing this I put on music as I sometimes do and of course like so many times there is a song that so touches my heart.  I have put a link to this song...but the words just touch me so in this song "Your Hands" sung by JJ Heller:

Your Hands By JJ Heller

I have unanswered prayers
I have trouble I wish wasn't there
And I have asked a thousand ways
That You would take my pain away
That You would take my pain away

I am trying to understand
How to walk this weary land
Make straight the paths that crookedly lie
Oh Lord, before these feet of mine
Oh Lord, before these feet of mine

When my world is shaking
Heaven stands
When my heart is breaking
I never leave Your hands

When You walked upon the Earth
You healed the broken, lost, and hurt
I know You hate to see me cry
One day You will set all things right
Yea, one day You will set all things right

When my world is shaking
Heaven stands
When my heart is breaking
I never leave Your hands

Your hands
Your hands that shape the world
Are holding me, they hold me still
Your hands that shape the world
Are holding me, they hold me still

When my world is shaking
Heaven stands
When my heart is breaking
I never leave You when...

When my world is shaking
Heaven stands
When my heart is breaking
I never leave...
I never leave Your hands

So I come to the end of my reading and of course it catches my eye with the sheep and all...but Romans 8:36-39:

"No, for the Scriptures tell us that for His sake we must be ready to face death at every moment of the day--we are like sheep awaiting slaughter; but despite all this, overwhelming victory is ours through Christ who loved us enough to die for us.  For I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from His love.  Death can't, and life can't.  The angels won't, and all the powers of hell itself cannot keep God's love away.  Our fears for today, our worries about tomorrow, or where we are--high above the sky, or in the deepest ocean--nothing will ever be able to separate us from the love of God demonstrated by our Lord Jesus Christ when He died for us."

And though I have always felt this as my faith...I realize the urgency...that none of us know how many days we have.   I think that those who are facing cancer, those who are in law enforcement as Jay was, soldiers, firemen, they all are faced daily with this truth...but when it comes down to it...do any of us really know the moment of the day.   On that "Wednesday" during the day with no idea of what awaited me that night, I had a discussion with my friend Mary and it was a very deep discussion for a lunch time chat.   But I remember getting overtaken with emotion in thinking that I felt this need to share Jesus with others.  That I did not want any of those I loved to have to face the pits of hell.  That I did not want them to look at me and say "why didn't you tell me!"    And so I share that now and I know not why...but as I said this blog was taken over a long time ago....so I just write!    But now instead of thistles I think of...grass greening up, of flowers blooming, of EASTER and the true meaning that though Christ died on the cross He rose again and that there is light and hope and of course LOVE!  

So know that all that I say comes from Love and I thank you for your listening.   God be with you and give you MORE...MORE!

(And as I leave...say a pray for me...because NO MY TAXES ARE NOT DONE!!!)

lyp

Brotherhood...

This one is another that has been on the shelf but after this morning's reading...I pull it off and decide to finish.  As I am sure you can guess...I still struggle with the WHY'S...Why must we lose one so young?   One with such a good heart?    And so at my kitchen table this morning I am going through the WHY'S and I open up my Living Bible to John 13.   And there underlined is v. 34-35:

"And so I am giving a new commandment to you now--love each other just as much as I love you.  Your strong love for each other will prove to the world that you are my disciples."

And so I keep reading and there underlined as well is 14:6:

"Jesus told him, 'I am the Way--yes and the Truth and the Life.  No one gets to the Father  except by means of Me."

And then again underlined is 14:18:

"No I will not abandon you or leave you as orphans in the storm--I will come to you."

And this one I think of my Dad and how he always seemed to be one to care for widows and orphans...and I have a sadness because my daughter and granddaughter are without a husband and a daddy.   But I seem to keep reading as though there is more for me.   I try to take comfort that it says I WILL NOT ABANDON YOU!!!    And this begins the tie into the BROTHERHOOD...because God and Jay worked on building a brotherhood of men that would stand in for him and I have some pictures that I will include but know that there are so many more that are standing there as well.   At the funeral there is a picture I cherish of Izzy walking hand in hand with Grandad and P-Pa and they are each holding a hand letting her walk...but if she chooses to be lifted they each lift her up and this seemed to say so much to me that I know both these men will be there for Jay's girls!

But I go back to my reading and this is the part that brought the tears....but touched my heart.   I have read John before and though I know that I have so much to learn this one took on such a newness.  Because underlined again...I know that I have read this before and underlined all of these because they said something to me at least one time or another...but I do not remember why...but it read in John 15:10-11...

"When you obey me you are living in my love, just as I obey my Father and live in His love.  I have told you this so that you will be filled with my joy.  Yes, your cup of joy will overflow!"

And I think about how it is hard to have JOY right now...but it is no longer underlined but I read on and 15:12 says:

"I demand that you love each other as much as I love you."

And so I keep reading and copying to my journal as though an urgency that I want to know more and there is 15:13...

 "And here is how to measure it--"

So I continue writing as though this is all new and I do not read ahead until I come to this and I stop in my tracks and yes....have a few tears.  Because I am wondering HOW DO YOU MEASURE?   And right there it finishes:

"the greatest love is shown when a person lays down his life for his friends;"

And though this makes you think of Christ...I also feel that it is talking of Jay as well...that in choosing the career he chose, there are many a time that these individuals are willing to put their life on the line for others...sometimes for ones they have never met!   So this is even more where the "brotherhood" connects and I pick up where I started writing prior...

I said that Jay had two families...and that he did...his birth and marriage family...but also his brotherhood of law enforcement family.   It is an amazing thing to behold the connection between these men and women...a bond that many never get to experience or even observe close up.   (But a bond that we should all take note of...that we build a bond with our "brothers'.)

Jay gave some of his fellow "brother's" a "challenge coin" that had the following prayer...coincidence...I don't think so!   And these men were joined by many others vowing to be there for Jay's wife and child.  The words written were as follows:

  "POLICEMAN'S PRAYER" 

 

"When I start my tour of duty God,

Wherever crime may be,

as I walk the darkened streets alone,

Let me be close to Thee.

 

Please give me understanding with both the young and old.

Let me listen with attention until their story's told.

Let me never make a judgment in a rash or callous way,

but let me hold my patience let each man have his say.

 

Lord if some dark and dreary night,

I must give my life,

Lord, with your everlasting love

protect my children and my wife." 

 

It was important for Jay to share this...and then when we were looking for Jay's coin to get the wording from it for the funeral...we could not find it.  The Chief loaned his and offered to let Heather have it...but she said Jay doesn't need his anymore...

 

So I leave this with pictures I have accumulated of the different men in Izzy's life and Heather's life that I know will be there as well as many that I do not have the pictures of...I have taken on a new and different respect for this "brotherhood" that come together for each other.   I continue to be amazed of the outpouring of support given.    I see the fundraiser in Lafeyette that none of them knew Jay but they wanted to make a difference and so in providing oil changes and ice cream to others...they gave their love...so many giving food and money...someone giving hay for the goats...my heart though hurting is filled with a joy that there is good out there.   We tend to focus on the bad and negative and don't get me wrong there is a lot there...but there is a lot of very special loving people that do try to make a difference!   And to these individuals...thank you...thank you for being there...for proving there is good...for showing such a strong love to others...

 





This picture shows the pain of not just my girls but that of a "brother".   Jake Herrera was in pain from overcoming his own hospital stay as well as losing a friend.  But this picture reminds me of how he wanted to be there for Heather but also how she wanted to take care of one of Jay's "brother's"...and so they hurt together...

(Photo taken by Aaron Ontiveroz Denver Post http://photos.denverpost.com/mediacenter/2011/03/limon-officer-jay-sheridan-funeral/#19)

Another "brother"....Russell Lengel...standing by if needed...(another Denver Post photo)

I'm sure you all can guess how much I think of this guy...Michael Yowell...and the day of the funeral he sat with little Izzy and this definitely is one of those moments I will take and tuck away in my heart...

A happier time...Heather and Jay had taken Izzy "trick or treating" and I seen the "brotherhood" as we spent quite a bit of time at each house just "STS" :)...but Chief Yowell was on duty and took time to come and talk to a little "Tigger".   Something he continues to do...Another treasured memory...

This one I had to put both pics because the one says I'll take care of you and you take care of me...but the other says ya we'll give you a smile but we're playing here.   Love that Tyler Yowell too!



Oh these two have a bond indeed...Love that Granddad!  Do you notice who holds his heart...

P-pa giving Izzy some of Ricco's chocolate cake...there could be some spoiling going on here!  This Grandpa thinks he is solely responsible for spoiling this little girl rotten.   After all she and her mama are his princesses...

Uncle "La La" loves this little girl!

   THE SHANE'S

Uncle Shane ("Bob" :) above getting help with his birthday gift.   I know Uncle Shane will be there with plenty of stories for Izzy about her daddy!

and "Great Grand" Uncle Shane playing with bubbles and balloons!

And like I said there is so many I didn't have pictures of...Wes, Andy, Dylan, Josh, Reeder, and so many other special friends.   I will quit listing but there are so very many and know how much you are appreciated!

As always I am touched by music and pictures...there is a song out by Rascal Flatts that just makes me think of first how God will be there...but then I also see in my mind all the officers standing up and I see these pictures of these special men and I hear these words sung by all and I feel a presence of Jay watching over as well...and so the words of  "I Won't Let Go" say...  (Listen to I Won't Let Go) 



"It's like a storm
That cuts a path
It breaks your will
It feels like that
You think you're lost
But you're not lost on your own,
You're not alone

I will stand by you,
I will help you through
When you've done all you can do
and you can't cope
I will dry your eyes,
I will fight your fight
I will hold you tight
and I won't let go

It hurts my heart to see you cry
I know its dark this part of life
Oh it find us all and we're too small
to stop the rain
Oh but when it rains

I will stand by you,
I will help you through
When you've done all you can do
and you can't cope
I will dry your eyes,
I will fight your fight
I will hold you tight
and I won't let you fall

Don't be afraid to fall
I'm right here to catch you
I won't let you down
It won't get you down
You're gonna make it
I know you can make it

Cause I will stand by you,
I will help you through
When you've done all you can do
and you can't cope
I will dry your eyes,
I will fight your fight
I will hold you tight
and I won't let go

Oh I'm gonna hold you
and I won't let go
Won't let you go
No I won't"

This song didn't just stand out to me but I am sure many others...a friend used it on her blog as well.... http://beefwatcher.blogspot.com/2011/03/scrambled-mind-today.html

And don't get me wrong....there are plenty of women standing by as well....but that is another time...so I end this as I started...love one another...I love you!

So I am sorry if I still seem to be writing a little sad but still processing..I pray for strength...and I hear the words of Chief Yowell..."Strong in--Strong out."   Somedays I just repeat that to myself....but here is to JoY and so I share a picture of Jay and a "best man" (Gordan Nall) and I raise a toast to all the "brothers"...Thank you and God bless!   I learned a new acronym "EOW" is end of watch...but I feel that Jay and God are still watching over us.

Okay I still smile thinking about these two!  A so much younger looking Jay but good times with good friends!

lyp